My dad had suggested yesterday that maybe I should get up and take a Xanax regardless of how I felt. I thought that was a good idea, so I did that this morning. I had a short crying spell an hour or so later, but nothing to analyze. Then, took my morning nap, had lunch with my folks, started to unload the dishwasher for my mom, then WHAMMO! Meltdown. It hit so fast I didn’t have time to get the Xanax. I was disappointed. Frustrated. Sad. This is four days in a row of issues. My friend, Karen asked if I had asked the doctors about “rapid-cycling.” I have never heard of that, so I will ask my therapist that on Friday.
My dad was trying to help by saying, “Don’t look at next month, just concentrate on next week or even Saturday.” I said that I felt like I couldn’t even face tomorrow. What had happened to my pattern of two bad days, five good days?
My parents are awesome. They sat down with me (after a Xanax) and tried to help me figure out what was going on and how to possibly prevent it. They asked tons of questions and we came up with this idea: I am going to try taking a Xanax every 4 hours tomorrow and see what that does. I took a Xanax this evening 4 hours after my meltdown and I’m feeling good. Coincidence? I don’t know.
I’m going to try this idea tomorrow. I guess I’m kind of a lab rat. My friend, Christine, actually used a lab rat in college and asked if she could keep him, and she did. So, I guess all rats aren’t ugly. I’d like to think that Christine would want to adopt me after doing experiments on me.