bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Let me start by saying I hate being tired.  I know there are worse things out there.  I know that I bring it on myself.  A lot.  And, maybe hate is too strong a word.  How about:  I really don’t care for being tired.  I don’t care for not being able to do what a “normal” person can do in a day.

Let’s backtrack a bit.  

Over the July 4th weekend, our family went camping and floating with my in-laws.  I know.  You say the word “inlaws” and groans and sympathic looks abound.  But, despite the fact that there were 14 kids under the age of 14 there at any one time, it was a very pleasant weekend.  We had the privilege of going to Pogueland which consists of 40 acres in a beautiful part of Missouri, near Emminence.  (My brother-in-law’s last name is Pogue, hence the name.)   However beautiful the scenery, however terrific the company was, the fact remains that I slept on an air mattress for three nights.  The first night was a little chilly, the second and third nights were not.  Even my 10-yr-old daughter said, “I can’t wait to get into a REAL bed!”  And that was on the second night.  😦 

As I’ve mentioned before, sleep is my bipolar trigger.  And, I did get a decent amount of sleep despite the circumstances.  My CPAP machine worked great.  The air mattress stayed inflated the entire trip.  But, it wasn’t a real bed, in real air conditioning, etc.

So, I’m not surprised that yesterday, I was more than a little edgy.  Today I’m just tired. 

But, this morning, I hardly did anything.  I jumped out of bed between 6 and 7 because I was going to have breakfast with a very close friend that I haven’t seen all summer.  During school we would see each other about once every two weeks.  If we could last that long.  And, as my mom always says, “When you have lunch with her, it’s always good for you.”  I agree wholeheartedly.  Bless her heart, I think I talked almost the whole time.  But, I do remember her getting in a few words.  Like, “I’ll have the pancakes”  and “No, I don’t need any more coffee.”  So, she wasn’t completely silent.  ha

After breakfast, I ran to Shoe Carnival to exchange a pair of shoes and pick up some “crocs” for my niece’s birthday.  In that same strip mall is a Party America, so I stepped in there to get a paper pirate hat for Sunday School.   On my way home, I popped into Schnuck’s for lettuce, grapes, carrots, and mayo.

Then I went home.

That was it.  I am beat.  I did make BLTs for lunch.  I felt I owed the family that much.  (Plus, my hubby grew the tomato himself, so we have anticipated eating it as soon as it was picked a couple of days ago.)

So, is that so much that I should be wiped out?  Yes, for me, I guess it is.  I still need to learn what is too much.  And, as I ran into Party America and Schnuck’s I knew I was pushing it.  But, I also knew that I wasn’t going to go to the party store before Sunday on a quick trip, what with the gas prices and the fact that it was in the same strip mall as the shoe store.  And, stopping by Schnuck’s was kind of important, since I had already told my husband that we’d have BLTs, and we didn’t have any lettuce.  And, who wants a BT?  That’s a completely different sandwich!

So, what should I have skipped?  What would I have done differently?  These are answers to questions that Only the Shadow Knows….

Comments on: "You Can’t Hide Your Tired Eyes…" (1)

  1. Throw in the heat the past couple of days, and I’m sure you’re wrung out! But look at all you accomplished (really), and didn’t have to worry about. Take the rest of the day off…..

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