bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Let Go. Let God.

Amazing what those four words can do.  Powerful.  Trust me.

I’ve been trying to get in touch with my brother regarding his attendance at Mark’s confirmation.  I sent him an email weeks ago, letting him know that his godson was already 14 and it was time for his confirmation.

No response.

Yesterday, I called him at work (since we are not allowed to call him at home), and he didn’t answer his cell phone or his work phone.  So, I left a message.  Very nice.  “I really need to talk to you.  Will you give me a call on my cell phone when you get a chance to talk?”

No reponse.

I called again this morning.  Again, voice mail.  “Look.  I really need to talk to you.  Call me.”  Then, I checked my email, and he’d written me and said that he would be available for one hour today.  Which, of course, had already passed.  Not his fault, really.  He wrote that he’d be in and out tomorrow.  I wrote back to call me when he had a chance.

This has been weighing on me for such a long time.  Down doesn’t even begin to describe this.  The pressure to say the “right thing” is huge.  I’ve been praying that God will give me the right words to say.  I just haven’t had to chance to say ANYTHING!

Mark is going to write his testimony about my brother.  His testimony is based on his Confirmation verse, Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”  His take on that verse is that he hasn’t seen my brother in a long time, and he doesn’t know why, but he knows God has a plan.  Do I mention that to my brother?  Or will that scare him off?  Or make him realize how important he really is to Mark?

So, while driving around this morning, I prayed, “God, I can’t deal with this anymore.  Can you take it from me?’  BAM!  Instant peace.  I swear.  Or promise, whatever.  I assure you this is the truth. 

This doesn’t mean it’s gone from my mind.  It’s still there, but the sinking feeling, the anxiety, the general feeling of ickiness is gone.  Completely disappeared.

Why did I wait so long to call on God?  He’s got it.

Comments on: "Let Go. Let God." (5)

  1. Wow. That’s really powerful! I don’t know if you’ll find your answers but I thank you for posting that for me to read today. I’m having a family issue too. Kind of the opposite. My sister is in deep financial need (again). Gene and I have bailed her out for 20 years every time she makes a bad decision. She’s been better the last couple of years, had an okay job and worked really hard, but (long story) happened beyond her control and then a bunch of bad decisions on her part and now she’s begging for money again. A lot of money. M, we don’t have it.

    We had some rough times too and when I saw it coming for us, I went back to school. I love my job but because of my bad knees I only work part time and we don’t have the extra cash to give her anymore and yet I feel soooooooo much guilt. I know this isn’t my fault or my responsibility but I hate for my nieces that they have to live through this turmoil again.

    Anyway, didn’t mean to write a novel but I’m going to try to be like you and know that I can only do what I can do and I/we have been as supportive to my sister as if we were her parents for all these years even though, obviously, we’re not their parents. We’ve given all we can give and we still gave hundreds of dollars at Christmas to make sure the kids had a good Christmas but we’re tapped out. I have to trust God that somehow He will help her get through this rough time and learn this time. She’s going to be 40 years old this summer. She has to learn how to control her finances and her choices. I pray that she gets a good job soon and that she can weather through this and come out stronger on the other side.

    Thanks for posting this today. Maybe I needed to be reminded. My stomach has been tied in knots all day long about it.

  2. Karen Coyle said:

    Boy, our family also has its issues. It’s so hard to explain to our kids,and I don’t really tell alot, because I don’t want to perpetuate hard feelings. Our kids are watching how we handle these things. Michelle, I have felt the same peace as you did when I pray a direct prayer like that-why do I wait so long?! We need to let God take care of those we worry about, let’s just give Him the chance-pray for that person every day,once in the morning and once at night, as one priest told me when I went to confession recently.

    Keep the faith!

  3. So true, Michelle, so true. Why do we even bother to worry about things when really it’s all in God’s hands? It’s a lot easier said than done… and I’m so glad you said it and did it!

  4. Powerful!

  5. […] link is of a personal nature.  Mark was confirmed yesterday.  And as I mentioned in a previous post, his testimony was about my […]

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