bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

I Need Charging

I went to the psychiatrist today.  Just a periodic check-in, but it came at a good time. 

The first thing I asked him was to check back into my file and see how past Mays have gone.  Last year was fine.  The year before:  very tired, sleeping a lot, weepy, losing patience quickly, etc.  I said, “Uh, yeah.  Check.  Check.  Check.  Check.” 

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been on a roller coaster for the last few weeks.  And, I’m about ready to shout, “Stop the ride!  I wanna get off!”After expressing my concern to the doctor, and telling him that I was very anxious about increasing the dosage of my medication, he suggested adding Lithium to the batch.  Oh, sure.  What’s one more pill?  Good grief.  I got teary-eyed and told him I was a little scared.  I was reaching the maximum dose of Lamictal (a mood-stabilizing drug), and so that’s why he’s suggesting Lithium (another mood-stabilizer).  I told him, “You know, I’m 43, and I’m almost at the limit of Lamictal, and now we are adding Lithium.  I’m scared about what the future will mean.  Will I be on 56 different drugs?”  He smiled and said, “Moods are not static.  They change, and so we need to adjust when they do change, so that you can level off again.  And, hey, let’s think positive, this may work!”  Then he told me of a patient that was on all kinds of mixtures and wasn’t doing well.  Probably headed for the hospital (aka looney bin).  Not exactly what I wanted to hear, since that was what kind of scares me.  He was telling me this, though, because he wanted me to know there are lots of things to try.

So, yep, I’m going to start supplementing my current drugs with Lithium.  Yep.  Like the battery.  Right off the Periodic Table.  AND, it’s been used in thermonuclear weapons!  Neat!  It’s also the original mood-stabilizer.

When I went to fill the prescription at the pharmacy, I suddenly felt very self-conscious.  Uh-oh, now this chick knows I’m nuts.  Then, I had to smile.  I think I’d rather be picking up a prescription for Lithium than one that is used to treat an STD.

Is that Pollyanna-y enough for you?

Comments on: "I Need Charging" (3)

  1. Karen C. said:

    Hang in there, girl. The only constant with bi-polar is change in moods! As you said in an earlier post, you know this, too, shall pass. Keep the faith.

    Thanks for coming to ‘Wonderland’-it was great seeing you and Karen!!!!

  2. I’m glad you are doing what’s best for you!

  3. I have an award for you on my blog!!

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