bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Archive for August, 2010

Zzzzzz? Not So Much.

The bipolar down curve has kicked in.  But, this time, I think I know why.

Sleep.  Pretty much my #1 trigger.  I go to sleep just fine, but then wake up around 12.  Then 1:30.  Then 2:15.  Until about 4, when I finally sleep until 6 when the alarm goes off.  And, I don’t just wake up for a few seconds, I’m tossing and turning for what seems like forever.

I’ve been using my CPAP machine religiously.  There are times, though, when I feel as though it just stops working.  But, not necessarily every time I wake up.

Of course, a visit to the sleep doctor is in order.  And, of course, I have to change doctors since we changed insurance companies.  Fortunately, there is one not too far from here, and when I called for an appointment on Friday, I was on the verge of tears.  That, apparently, tends to get a person a quick appointment. So, tomorrow, I go to the new doctor.  There are 17 pages of forms to fill out.  (Literally.  No exaggeration required on that one.)  We’ll see what happens.

I do feel good about one thing.  I am pretty much in tune with my body.  I can recognize that something just isn’t right before it becomes full-blown.  Not that I can do anything about it right away, but at least I’m not going around thinking, “What is wrong with me?  Why do I feel so crummy?  There’s no hope.”  That last one is a biggie.  Even when I was at my folks’ on Friday, and weeping a lot, I knew what was wrong. 

Thank goodness they were there.  Nobody makes me feel more secure than Mom and Dad.  I don’t have to put up a front for them.  (If Tom weren’t at work, he’d provide the same environment. Again, I am so thankful that I didn’t have to bother him at work.)

So, this post is for those who often ask, “How are you doing?”  Well, friends, right now, not so hot.  (Friday was the worst day.  Making an appointment with the doctor put that light at the end of the tunnel.) But, I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes with the new guy. I’m very optimistic.  And, right now, that’s saying something.

Okay, I See the Irony

Last night, Tom and I went to the high school Open House.  Mark’s Spanish teacher had a misspelled word on her wall.  I pointed it out to Tom, and rolled my eyes.  He said, “Yeah, I read your blog.  But, did you even proofread your post from the day before?”  I replied, “Yes.  I fell asleep.”  He said, “You could tell.”  ha

 But, if you read the comments, I acknowledged that it made no sense.  But, I guess not everyone reads the comments.  So I’m letting you know, yes, I get it.  We can’t always get it right.  But, honestly.  If you are a teacher, and you are putting up posters around your room…Oh forget it.  I give up.  No, I can’t.  USE SPELL CHECK FOR PETE’S SAKE! No excuses!  Use the technology you’ve been given!!!!

Still Laughing!

As many of you know, misspellings in public drive me nuts!  I may not have blogged about it, but it truly gets to me.  In fact, recently I ordered a cookie bouquet for a dear friend who just had a baby.  On the bakery’s web site, the picture showed a cookie that said, “Its a Boy!” I was hoping it was just a mistake on the picture, but no, when I went to pick up the cookies, there it was… “Its.”  I asked the girl behind to counter if she could add an apostrophe.  Of course, she looked at me like I had two heads, but too bad, sister.  I’m a teacher.  I’m giving these to a teacher.  And, IT WAS WRONG!  (Usually apostrophes are over-used and incorrectly.  I’ve supported a tax on apostrophes. Hasn’t been approved yet, but think of the revenue!)  Oh, and by the way, the grammar check on this post picked up the incorrect use of  “its.” Anyway, I digress. 

I’ve mentioned the Cake Wrecks site before, but today’s was just too good not to pass along.  It made me laugh for quite a while, and was funny enough to go back and read it again!

If you enjoy misspellings, cakes, and laughing, today’s post is for you!  It is well-written as well as appalling!  (The candles are my favorite.)

Monday Web Site – Driving

For thsoe of us without a GPS, we still have to negotiate our way to a new location.  Yep.  The old fashioned way.

Many of us use MapQuest or Google Maps, but I’d like to tell you about a different site that really made appreciate the internet that much more.

Bing Maps is fantastic for someone like me.  When I was trying to get to a new friend’s house, I printed off the directions, and was pleasantly surprised to see a feature that the aforementioned web sites, do not include landmarks as part of their directions.  That is a HUGE Bonus to me.  It’s how I give out directions, but not necessarily (Past the QT, across from Dairy Queen). 

So, next time you are looking for a place, trying Bing Maps!

So Far, So Good

Hi.  My name is Michelle and I’m addicted to Facebook.  I’m sure there is a support group out there for people like me, but that’s not really what this post is about.

Several people use Facebook to voice their opinions on political issues.  One of my New Year’s resolutions was to refrain from posting a political issue as my status or to even comment on another person’s political comment, whether I agreed or disagreed.

So far, I have stuck to that resolution.  (I think it’s the only one still in tact.)  Yes, I get frustrated.  Yes, I say aloud, “Are you kidding me?!?!” And, yes, sometimes I have to walk away from the computer.

I still think it has been a good choice, though. I learned last year that people “discuss” the issue, but no one ever changes their viewpoint.  Ever.  There are times when I see the writer in person, and I want to tell them my side, but I don’t do that either.  (I just say it on the inside. Oh, and I discuss it with Tom, so that I’m actually saying what I think aloud.)

I just thought I’d share that I actually have one resolution still going strong.  No weight loss. No super-clean house.  And, no skydiving.  Well, at least not yet.  I still have four months left.

Like a Baby

Ever wonder why people use the phrase “slept like a baby?”  In my experience, babies aren’t that great of sleepers.  They wake up several times a night.  What’s so wonderful about that?

But, the phrase, “cry like a baby” makes a lot more sense.  Babies cry.  Hard.  And, so did I yesterday.  I sent my son off to high school as a Freshman.  Sometimes he looks so grown-up and other times, like yesterday, he looked so young. As soon as I shut the door as he walked to school, I bawled my head off.  Tom looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.  So many things were swirling in my head.  Would he actually find his locker in time? (As of that morning, he still didn’t know exactly where it was.) Would he have someone to sit with at lunch? Since he forgot his lunch and left it at home, would he be able to figure out how buying lunch worked?  Would he find all his classes?  And, finally, how did my little baby grow up so fast?

I’m happy to report that he had a good day.  Even though I had to wait until 5:30 to find out.  He has joined the Cross Country team this year, and, in fact said that was his favorite part of the day.  🙂 

And, yes, I waited and waited for him to come home.  I was out in the front yard “pulling weeds” so that I could see him when he was coming down the sidewalk.

Things That Keep Me Up at Night

Okay, these things don’t exactly keep me up at night, but I do wonder about them.

  • How long will we still be using the phrase “hang up the phone?”  We no longer use “dial a number,” we now “call someone.”
  • On a similar note, it is so frustrating to not be able to “slam” the phone down when you are angry.  “Click”  just doesn’t cut it.
  • Why doesn’t Donald Duck wear pants?

Yes, I know I didn’t come up with that last one on my own.  But it does bug me.

It’s Now an Official Tradition

Last year, Karen entered middle school, so I took she and Mark to Five Guys and they spent the time discussing what to expect, how things are different from elementary school, etc.

Yesterday, Karen and I took our neighbor to Five Guys to do the same thing.  Our neighbor had lots of questions, and seemed very happy with Karen’s answers.  It was so strange to see the role-reversal, though.  There was Karen looking all mature and answering questions, when just a year ago, she looked all small and unsure of the future.

Sure, she probably provided her friend with more information than she needed, “I sat at Table 2-5 for lunch.  Let me draw you a diagram of the tables.”  Her friend just wanted to know if you could sit anywhere, or if there were assigned seats.  🙂  But, she seemed to really enjoy the time together. 

The typical questions came up.  “When can you go to your lockers?” “Isn’t it really crowded when everyone is at their lockers?”  “How do you change clothes in the locker room for PE?” I really liked Karen’s response to that one.  “It is kind of creepy at first.  You’ll want to go in the bathroom stall and change, but everyone tries to do that, so it doesn’t work.  Really, it’s not that weird after awhile, because everyone is doing it. Plus, I wore an undershirt, so that made it easier.”  The look on her friend’s face was one of huge relief. I’d forgotten what a big deal that was.

She thanked me at least three times for taking her to lunch.  She’s a wonderful girl, and I’m sure she’ll do fine.  And, as Karen said, “You don’t have to wave at me if you don’t want to.  But, if you are having a bad day or just need a smile, give me a wave, and I’ll wave right back and say, “Hi Maggie!”” What more could a girl ask for?  ha

Still Flying High

I never expected this high from the NYG to last this long.  I expected it to be a short-term thing, and then reality would set in.  So far, it hasn’t.  Well, reality is there, but it doesn’t seem to be affecting me like it usually does.  (aka, bringing me down, freaking me out, stress) Sure, there have been stressful moments, but they seem pretty short-lived.  I just keep thinking about how much God loves me.  And what a great friend he is.  I’m never alone.  That is awesome.

I’ve also given a lot of thought to the type of person I appear to be. I try to reference God at least once a day.  To someone. I want the world to know that I LOVE JESUS and that GOD is the reason I can get up everyday and know that I can handle whatever life throws my way.

An example of this new-ish attitude has been noted by the members of the cast and crew of the musical I am in. Everyone has really cleaned up their language.  The director stated at the beginning of rehearsals that he cusses a lot, and if any of us had a problem with it, he would try to refrain.  I didn’t say anything, but just never used any of those words, and often wore a religious shirt. (Not necessarily on purpose.  I just have a lot of those) I even had one of the cast ask me how long I’d been involved in my church, what kinds of things I do there, etc. 

I’ve been trying to be a Christian, not just call myself one. After being around 25,000 youth that were charged up about being a Christian, it’s hard not to jump in and join them!

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