bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Posts tagged ‘csi’

Home, Safe Home

Some people buy security alarms in order to feel safe.  I’ve done extensive research and now feel that I am safe from any chance of murder occurring in my home.  And, it didn’t cost me one penny!

First, we must go on the assumption that TV is real.  Sure, it may take poetic license with some of the headlines today, but other than that, everything done on TV is done just as it happens in real life.  Okay?

So, how have I secured my family?  How do I sleep at nights knowing they will be there when I wake up?  And, I will wake up.

I keep my house in an order of disarray.  Simple as that.

Anyone who has ever watched an episode of any CSI or Law and Order show can tell you that when the good guys show up to check for evidence, the homes of the victims are spotless.  No pizza boxes left out from the night before.  No pieces of popcorn strewn after watching movies three nights ago.  No week’s worth of dirty socks lying on the floor.  Now, while an inch of dust might actually help in the investigations, they never find that either.

Nope.  Through my powers of deducti0n, only very tidy housekeepers (or those that employ housekeepers) are the victims of murder or other heinous crimes that are newsworthy.  We do not fall into this category.  Especially upstairs.  Our main floor has been relatively tidy, but not still not “CSI Worthy.”  I mean, your house must be clean enough for David Caruso to stand back, with his hands on his hips, and say, “Look in the bathroom sink, there.  Is that a speck of blood?”  You never hear him say, “Can you find any evidence around that sinkful of hair?”

I have now found an official reason for having our house keep that “lived in” look.  Safety.  And there is nothing I wouldn’t do for my family in order to keep them safe.  That’s the kind of gal I am.

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Come to the Dark Side

I can get obsessed with something pretty easily.  Obsessed  may not be the right word, but it is pretty dang close.

My obsession two weeks ago was watching past episodes of “Big Bang Theory.”  I would download it onto my computer and watch it whenever I wanted to.  Which was pretty much every spare moment I could grab.  Great show, but truly, I got nothing else done.  Other than spending time telling everyone what a great show it is.

Now, another show has its deadly grasp on my mind, emotions, and time.  The original “CSI.”  We subscribe to Netflix, which now has the option of watching DVDs on your computer instead of waiting for the disk.  Well, in my mind, watching an hour-long show,  (actually 44 minutes) was better than sitting down to watch a two-hour movie.  And, that is true.  Unless of course you watch more than one episode per sitting.  And, guess who fell into that routine.  It has sucked me in. 

Now, I mentioned that it has not only taken over my time, but my mind and emotions as well. 

Some of these shows are pretty intense.  I have to start taking deep breaths after an episode is over, because I haven’t taken a breath in who knows how long.

I even mentioned to my neighbor that I am NEVER going to Las Vegas, because there is nothing but crime there.  It is a dangerous city!  I do feel that, unlike the other CSIs, this one has quite a few stories of random violence.  The other two (Miami and New York) have many targeted victims.  People who have wronged others in some way. 

I wondered a couple of things while watching my CSI marathons.  (which I am stopping today, just to make sure I can) 

  • Does Las Vegas suffer or prosper due to its exposure on the show?
  • Why don’t any of the murders occur in a casino?  (Maybe they do in other seasons, but so far none have in Season 7)
  • Why do the agents always examine a house with flashlights?  I mean, once the house is empty of the murderer, why can’t you turn on the lights, for cryin’ out loud?  Wouldn’t that make it easier to see?
  • Don’t they know that when they have a special guest star (like Ned Beatty) that we always know that if they are not the victim, then they are the killer?  They don’t come on to do bit parts, my friends.

See?  Most people who watch the show once a week, don’t obsess with details like this, but when you watch one after the other, you tend to notice this kind of stuff.  (Anyone that watches more than one episode of CSI:Miami notices the weird stance of David Caruso every time he arrives at a crime scene, however.  He stands with his hands on his hips and then either takes off his sunglasses or puts them on, nods his head in a direction and says, “What’s that over there under the sofa?”  He’s too lazy to go check it out himself, but will still get the credit for finding it.  A little ego check, please?)  For a fun few minutes, check out this youtube video of his best one-liners before the title song comes screaming out. 

So, yes, I’m giving up my CSI addiction.  For now. 

Besides “Lost” starts tonight.

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