bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Posts tagged ‘estranged’

Happy Birthday to My Brother

It’s a bittersweet day for me.  My little brother turns 40 today.

Why bittersweet, Michelle?  No, friends, he’s not dead.  I just haven’t talked to him in over 5 years. 

After he got married and had a baby, his wife turned into a complete B****.  And, yes I meant for that to be a capital “B.”  She wasn’t always like this.  She was fun to be around before they got married.  After that, she changed slightly.  But after their first son was born, WHAMMO!  She pretty much refuses to let our family (grandparents included) visit.  Or let my brother visit us.  In fact, the last time my brother came, was when my dad had a heart attack and a five-way bypass 5 1/2 years ago.  Even then, his wife made him feel guilty for spending more than a day here.  She is of a different religion, and even though he doesn’t feel like that plays a part in all of this, from what I’ve read, it is classic behavior on her part.

Yes, my brother is an adult.  She just makes his life miserable if we even entertain the idea of visiting or try to contact him.  He does call my parents about once a week from work, and has been doing that for a couple of years.

They have 2 sons.  One is in Kindergarten, and we only saw him when he was a month old.  That was NOT a pleasant visit.  (We were allowed to visit only 2 hours each day.  Nice.)  It was even worse when my parents went the next week.  It’s a 10 hour drive from here to visit.  They have another son that just turned three and we’ve never seen him.

Normally, his birthday comes, and I think about him a little, then push him from my mind because it’s been so long.  But, today is different.  As I sit here with tears in my eyes, I remember our last conversation.  It was two days ago.  My dad went back into the hospital after his cardiologist sent him to the ER.  My mom contacted my brother, and then he called me to give me his home phone number.  I didn’t even recognize his voice.  It really tore me up.  I kept saying, “Your voice sounds so different.” 

It just made me realize how much I’ve missed him and how time has really flown.

Prayers are going up daily.  I pray for my parents to be able to see him soon.  I pray that he has the guts to stand up to his wife.  I pray for guidance as to what to do to help him.

I just have to keep reminding myself that God is in control.

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