bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Posts tagged ‘housekeeping’

Home, Safe Home

Some people buy security alarms in order to feel safe.  I’ve done extensive research and now feel that I am safe from any chance of murder occurring in my home.  And, it didn’t cost me one penny!

First, we must go on the assumption that TV is real.  Sure, it may take poetic license with some of the headlines today, but other than that, everything done on TV is done just as it happens in real life.  Okay?

So, how have I secured my family?  How do I sleep at nights knowing they will be there when I wake up?  And, I will wake up.

I keep my house in an order of disarray.  Simple as that.

Anyone who has ever watched an episode of any CSI or Law and Order show can tell you that when the good guys show up to check for evidence, the homes of the victims are spotless.  No pizza boxes left out from the night before.  No pieces of popcorn strewn after watching movies three nights ago.  No week’s worth of dirty socks lying on the floor.  Now, while an inch of dust might actually help in the investigations, they never find that either.

Nope.  Through my powers of deducti0n, only very tidy housekeepers (or those that employ housekeepers) are the victims of murder or other heinous crimes that are newsworthy.  We do not fall into this category.  Especially upstairs.  Our main floor has been relatively tidy, but not still not “CSI Worthy.”  I mean, your house must be clean enough for David Caruso to stand back, with his hands on his hips, and say, “Look in the bathroom sink, there.  Is that a speck of blood?”  You never hear him say, “Can you find any evidence around that sinkful of hair?”

I have now found an official reason for having our house keep that “lived in” look.  Safety.  And there is nothing I wouldn’t do for my family in order to keep them safe.  That’s the kind of gal I am.


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