bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Posts tagged ‘mp3 player’

Just One of Those Days

I’ve been having some incredible days lately.  I mean, flat out awesome!  My change in medication has made a world of difference in my energy level.

First of all, a couple of weeks ago, I got cast in the musical “Nunsense” as Sister Mary Hubert!  There are only five people in the show, so I’m quite excited!  I’ve had one week of rehearsals, and I’m enjoying every minute of it!

Tom and Mark headed off to Philmont (A Boy Scout place in New Mexico.  A pretty big deal) last week for 10 days.  I got a postcard from Mark near the top of the mountain telling me that he wasn’t dead.  ha  Loved it.

While they are gone, Karen and I have been enjoying some great “girl time.”  We’ve done so much I can’t even list it all.  Let’s just say we haven’t gotten on each other’s nerves one iota!

Then…TODAY set in.

Emotionally, it’s a fine day, so don’t worry.  I’m just having a day like everyone else does, when things seem to go wrong, wrong, wrong. 

I can’t find my .mp3 player, and I really want to take it to New Orleans with me this week.  (I’m very excited about that too!  YEA!!!) I’m going to put the choreography and music for the play on there, so I can work on them while I’m gone (and missing 5 rehearsals!  They knew that and still wanted me!  Unbelievable!) so I’d really like to find it.  The worst part is remembering that I saw it on the counter, where it laid for weeks, and thinking, “Oh, I really shouldn’t put that there.  I need to move it to a better spot.”  BUT WHERE, MICHELLE?  WHERE?!?!?!?

Now, Hotmail is messed up and I can’t send messages or search my email for my Southwest Airlines ticket info.  But, I’m calmer knowing that I don’t need it until Wednesday.

AND, I have a stupid sinus headache, that actually started when I sneezed really hard this afternoon.  And, it just won’t go away.

Sure, now that I write this out, it seems silly.  Which is part of the reason I decided to write it.  I was hoping this would happen.  I’ll go eat that Ben & Jerry’s now, and it will all be better.  I’ll deal with it tomorrow.

Help Yourself!

Today was not the greatest of days.  A couple of posts ago, I mentioned that my stomach hurt, supposedly out of guilt.  (which has yet to be proven, but we’ll go with that for now.) 

This morning, I thought I was going to jump out of my skin.  That is the best way I can describe it.  Anxious.  Teetering on the edge of a cliff feeling.  Then, my stomach just hurt.  Then, I worried about why I was hurting and then worrying about it.

I kept trying to tell myself that I am not going to be “normal” anymore.  What used to be normal for me is no longer going to be.  And, what was normal then was no picnic for those around me, nor for myself, because I would always crash after a period of normalcy.  Mental illness stinks.  Calling it mental illness stinks too.

So, I had to figure out what to do to make myself feel “better.”  My upper back has been hurting (there I go again, sounding like I’m 82), so I haven’t gotten much sleep.  (DING!  Trigger time!)  So, I popped a couple of ibuprofen and took a 30 minute nap.  Woke up and felt pretty good for about, oh, 3 minutes.

Then, Bam!  Back to feeling cruddy.  So.  Now what, Michelle? 

Can’t call your mom because she is going to go out to lunch with her friend.  And, two things would happen if you called:  1)  She would take time for you, and not be as ready as she’d like to be for her lunch and 2) She’d think about you while having lunch, therefore not enjoying herself.  Now, I know you are reading this, Mom, and believe me, I did this just as much for myself today.  How cruddy would I feel if I messed up your day?  Pretty cruddy.  Let’s look at Option #2.

Option #2:  Call and talk to Dad.  Great listener, but this was going to call for more than just listening.  It would require my going over there.  And, the timing would definitely still interfere with Mom’s day, so she’d know about it, and (see option#1)  My dad rocks, and would quickly suggest we meet somewhere for breakfast/lunch.  Normally, that would be reason enough to call him.  Yum!  However, I have really been watching what I eat, and going out to eat didn’t sound good at all, and might have been counter-productive.

Option #3:  Call Tom.  Tom had a big presentation today at work.  I really try not to call him anyway, because what can he do?  He’s half an hour away.  So, my calling him makes him feel helpless and causes him to not be able to concentrate on his job.  And, I don’t have to tell you all how important having a job is.  🙂

Option #4:  (Yeah, I really did think of all these.  My mind tends to do this.)  Phone a friend.  No not Regis Philbin.  One of my many friends that has said, “Call me any time.”  Well, you all are so sweet, but there were reasons I didn’t call each of you.  Too numerous to mention, and possibly too personal.  Just know I thought of you.  😉

So, I was out of options.  But, I persevered.  I decided to go to The Happiest Place on Earth.  I know.  You think that’s Disneyland.  Well, you are wrong.  It’s Wal-Mart.  Well, it was as close as I could get in under an hour to a pretty happy place.  Plus, I needed a few items.

Well, you know how it is.  When you aren’t feeling well, things just don’t go right.  I couldn’t find my car keys.  I was sitting on them.  And, that was before I even left the house, obviously.

I hit Wal-Mart, and stuck to my list, for the most part.  Just getting out did help a little.  And, I was proud of myself for not hitting the chocolate aisle, just ripping open a package, and sitting in the middle of the aisle looking like Augustus Gloop. 

I then drove down to Lion’s Choice.  Ordered a sandwich, NO FRIES, and a diet Dr. Pepper.  Then I drove to/through Greensfelder Park and enjoyed the scenery and weather.

But, what I did next was what made me turn the corner.  Get out your notebooks, kiddies.  On my .mp3 player, I watched an episode of “The New Adventures of Old Christine.”  And, laughed and laughed.  Right there in my minivan.  After it was over, I realized I felt much better. 

Huh.  That “laughter is the best medicine” thing may have some merit after all.

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