bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Posts tagged ‘reinventing’

Reasons to Laugh

A break today from health issues and instead a talk of personality characteristics.

When most people describe me, they almost always mention my sense of humor.  At least that’s what I’ve heard.  “Yes, Matilda talks about you all the time!  She says you are really funny.”  Some people might find that a pressure-filled comment to launch into some Seinfeld-esque stand-up routine.  But, I usually just laugh.

My laugh.  Apparently, it is quite distinctive and contageous.  Well, maybe not contageous, but people say that when they hear me laugh, they want to know what is going on that would make me laugh.  Interesting.  And cool.  At least it’s not Janice’s laugh from “Friends.”  No one says, “Wow.  Your laugh is unique.”  “Unique” is another word for weird or odd, but has a nicer connotation.  I once purchased a wine rack for a friend’s wedding.  The lady at the register said, “Oh!  What a unique wine rack.”  I took it back the next day.  I didn’t want to be known as the one who gave the unique gift.

I have been recognized by my laugh.  One day, I had three friends seek me out in stores because they heard my laugh and recognized it.  Yeah, my laugh isn’t a quiet one, but it’s not obnoxiously loud either.  Well, maybe in church, but that’s different.

My mom is probably laughing her head off right now.  Because, strangely enough, and I emphasize strangely, I was once unhappy with my laugh.

I truly have no idea what was going on my head at this time in my life.  I think I was in my early teens.  (At least I hope I was.)  Apparently, I didn’t like the way I laughed, so I tried out new laughs.  As you can imagine, my mom says it was a very irritating period.  And annoying.  She finally asked me what was going on, and I said, “I’m trying out new laughs.”  That makes me laugh right there.  Who does that?

I guess after you’ve gotten hair cuts, wardrobe changes, and tried out new makeup, what’s left to change?  Your laugh?  Only I would come up with that one.

Funny, but I don’t remember this season of my life.  But, it does sound like something I would do.  Chances are, some boy commented on my laugh, and I decided to change it.  I’m not sure how one would go about actually changing a laugh.  I guess you would have to study other people’s laughs, and pick one you like.  Then, you’d have to practice.  A lot.  Sounds like a lot of work.

In college, I did try to smile differently.  Talk about weird.  I’ve always thought my smile was way too wide.  And, considering how often I laugh and smile, this is serious business.  My eyes actually squeeze shut when I am really smiling.  I got my Senior picture taken and the woman told me, (no lie), “Oh, my.  We have a problem.  Your eyes close when you smile.  Try to keep them open.”  How do you keep your eyes open?  Well, I raised my eyebrows.  As was apparent on the prints.  OH MY GOSH!  I looked like some kind of crazy, scary clown.  Go in and try it in the mirror.  Smile nice and wide while raising your eyebrows.  Scary, huh?

So, a girl on my dorm floor had this interesting smile.  She kind of frowned.  I thought that was pretty cool and tried it out a couple of times.  Didn’t take.  Decided that the best thing was to not smile quite as much as normal when taking pictures, and at least whenever I saw myself smiling, it wouldn’t look so bad.  Does anyone wonder why I’m therapy?

Looks like my attempts at trying to reinvent myself failed.  But, instead of thinking of it as failure, I am opting for deciding to accept myself as the way God made me.  And, He had a plan in mind when he formed Michelle.  The Great Architect put together a unique individual.  But, in this instance, I think unique is a wonderful word!

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