bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Posts tagged ‘sleep’

Time to Check in With the Doctor

I’ve had a rough week.

After a busy and tiring weekend, this week went downhill. On Monday, I slept most of the day. Which didn’t really surprise me after the weekend I had. But then on Tuesday I had a mindset of hating almost everything. I hated my house, I hated our yard, I hated just about everything that was usually fine and dandy. Very much the opposite of the way I usually feel. I’m usually a Pollyanna. Look her up if you don’t know who she is.

Wednesday was meh. I decided to bake since that is something I enjoy and hoped it would get me out of my “funk.” Well, the pie that I made for Sunday’s church picnic (and took 3rd place, thank you very much) didn’t turn out nearly as well on Wednesday. It was undercooked. I mean soupy. I was near tears. My folks came over to taste this great pie, and it turned out like…well, you know. We talked about my mood in general lately. As we have learned over the years, my parents (particularly my mom) will notice a change in my mood before I do. Apparently, several weeks ago, she mentioned to my dad that she thought I was headed for a down-turn. I promised to re-evaluate the situation in a week and go see the doctor if I hadn’t bounced back.

Thursday came crashing down. When I got up and went to work, I was doing pretty well. Then I screwed things up at work and what should have taken me 30 minutes or so, took an hour and 30 minutes. I was so bummed. I get paid by the hour, but I felt like I shouldn’t have charged my boss for that extra hour, since my screwing it up was the reason it took so long. So, I came home from lunch, and really started to crash. Not in a sleepy way, but in a mental way. I made a pizza and sat down to watch Modern Family which is one of my favorite shows. I didn’t laugh once. Now I knew something was wrong. I picked up the phone and called the doctor’s office. His receptionist got me an appointment for the very next morning. (today) I called my boss and said I just couldn’t make it in that afternoon. (Bonus points for the job I have. Bonus points go to my boss as well)

I called my mom and went over to my folks’ house and spent the rest of the afternoon over there. My mood picked up quite a bit. I didn’t take my daily nap because, honestly, I was worried I wouldn’t want to get out of bed. Ever.

I went to Guys and Dolls rehearsal because it was devoted entirely to choreography for one of the few songs I’m in. Choreography is not my strong suit, so I knew I couldn’t miss it. I did fine. I was exhausted and went to bed as soon as I got home.

Now, I’ve brought you up to speed to today. (About time, huh?)

After explaining all this to the psychiatrist (including the daily naps), here is what was decided. Take Lamictal at night since that could make me sleepy. Increase the Prozac and the Abilify to battle the depression that I obviously was battling. (When he heard me say that I was hating myself on Wednesday, he said, “That’s depression.) So, in a few days, I expect to see a change in my mood and my sleep habits.

Here’s hoping…(prayers would be nice too, if you don’t mind.)

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Catching Some Zzzzs and Then Some

About a year or so ago, I went to the sleep clinic and the doctor said that I needed between 8-10 hours sleep. Really?!

Well, that seems about right these days. I sleep 8 hours every night, and during the day I take a 2 hour nap. Who is lucky enough to have a lifestyle that is accommodating enough to allow a 2 hour nap?  Since lack of sleep is one of my bipolar triggers, I’m lucky to have such an opportunity each day.

I could go to bed at 8 and wake up at 6. (Some nights that sounds pretty good! Especially when the weather is as cool as it is right now!)

A 2 hour nap sure cuts out a big chunk of my day, but I get so sleepy I can’t help it. The dreams I have during those naps are weird and very vivid. Too boring to share, don’t worry.

Just thought I’d drop a line before I hit the hay on my way to la la land.

Zzzzzz’s? OH YEAH!

The alarm went off at 6 am.  I got out of bed to wake up Mark. As I came back into the bedroom I said, “THIS is how it feels to get a good night’s sleep!”  I actually felt refreshed!  Rejuvenated!  Revitalized!  What a wonderful feeling.  And, what a difference one night makes.

All morning long, I was filled with energy!  Mark ran in his second cross country meet, and ROCKED!  He medaled and beat his personal record by 2 minutes!  (Please note the use of exclamation points.  They are how I felt at the time.  AND FEEL NOW!  Woooooooo!)

We didn’t get home until 1:30, but it didn’t matter.  I didn’t fall asleep once on the ride there or home. Karen was practically begging me to not make her audition for show choir tomorrow, but I didn’t lose my cool.  Nope.  I didn’t go off into my room because I couldn’t handle it.  These are things that would have happened last week without sleep.  With sleep, I was gentle, but firm.  I suggested she call her friend that was in show choir with her last year and ask her which audition time she would be attending, and told her that maybe talking to her friend might make her more excited and less nervous. 

I hope you are sitting down for this next part…Karen actually came into the room and said, “Mom, I just wanted you to know that you were right. I talked to Katherine and now I’m kind of excited about tomorrow.”  Yes.  You read that right.  Without any coaxing or “I told you so’s” exiting my mouth, this child said those actual words to me.

Yes, today is a WONDERFUL day! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. They worked!

ZZzzzzzzzzzzz’s Update

Sleep study went well, I guess.  Still didn’t sleep quite right, but the doctor called and said that they seemed to have found a pressure that will work for my CPAP.  It looks like I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to get that reprogrammed, but I’m trying to look on the bright side, and see that tomorrow night I’ll get some GOOD sleep!

I’m bummed because I had to cancel dinner plans with my sisters-in-law for tonight.  I could have really used that girl-time.  But, it’s not worth having an accident because I fell asleep behind the wheel.  😦

Hey.  It could be worse.  I’m very thankful for that.  🙂

What Did the Doctor Say?

Thanks for asking!

My new sleep doctor was very thorough yesterday, and I really like him.  He thinks another sleep study is in order because he thinks the pressure may need to be adjusted on my CPAP machine.  Which is what I thought would probably be the route to go.  He told me that after a hysterectomy or menopause, it is not uncommon for the pressure to need an increase.  So, yea!  I’ve got that scheduled for next Wednesday.  The light at the end of the tunnel is still there.  I just have to keep my eye on it.

Also, he gave me an interesting tidbit of knowledge.  I told him that when I wake up in the middle of the night, or some mornings, that my right eye won’t open.  I try and try, and eventually it does, but it’s kinda freaky.  He said, “Well, that’s not uncommon when you come out of REM sleep.  You’re whole body kind of goes paralyzed when you dream, so that your body doesn’t try to act out those dreams.”  How cool is that?  Makes sense, but I never thought of it.  I guess that’s why he went to school and I didn’t.

Zzzzzz? Not So Much.

The bipolar down curve has kicked in.  But, this time, I think I know why.

Sleep.  Pretty much my #1 trigger.  I go to sleep just fine, but then wake up around 12.  Then 1:30.  Then 2:15.  Until about 4, when I finally sleep until 6 when the alarm goes off.  And, I don’t just wake up for a few seconds, I’m tossing and turning for what seems like forever.

I’ve been using my CPAP machine religiously.  There are times, though, when I feel as though it just stops working.  But, not necessarily every time I wake up.

Of course, a visit to the sleep doctor is in order.  And, of course, I have to change doctors since we changed insurance companies.  Fortunately, there is one not too far from here, and when I called for an appointment on Friday, I was on the verge of tears.  That, apparently, tends to get a person a quick appointment. So, tomorrow, I go to the new doctor.  There are 17 pages of forms to fill out.  (Literally.  No exaggeration required on that one.)  We’ll see what happens.

I do feel good about one thing.  I am pretty much in tune with my body.  I can recognize that something just isn’t right before it becomes full-blown.  Not that I can do anything about it right away, but at least I’m not going around thinking, “What is wrong with me?  Why do I feel so crummy?  There’s no hope.”  That last one is a biggie.  Even when I was at my folks’ on Friday, and weeping a lot, I knew what was wrong. 

Thank goodness they were there.  Nobody makes me feel more secure than Mom and Dad.  I don’t have to put up a front for them.  (If Tom weren’t at work, he’d provide the same environment. Again, I am so thankful that I didn’t have to bother him at work.)

So, this post is for those who often ask, “How are you doing?”  Well, friends, right now, not so hot.  (Friday was the worst day.  Making an appointment with the doctor put that light at the end of the tunnel.) But, I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes with the new guy. I’m very optimistic.  And, right now, that’s saying something.

update: sheep count

Okay, so I woke up at 4 am this time.  Hmmm.  Must not be a noise waking me up.  But, I eventually went back to sleep.  Oh well, I’ll just keep an eye on it, I guess. 

This has got to be the worst blog entry EVER. 

Twenty-ten will be better.  Promise.

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