bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Posts tagged ‘tv’

Note to Hollywood

It is been said recently (and often) that politicians are out of touch with the common man. I believe that is true of Hollywood as well.

For example, I know very few people that drop “f-bombs” as often as they use the word “the.” But, watch a few rated R movies, and I begin to think I am living in a fantasy world of candy canes and lollipops. I’m not naive. I know that people use “those words” daily. Just not the majority.

Then there are the driving scenes.  Some scenes are filmed with the actors actually driving a real car and the camera is right there with them. (I saw an outtake of an episode of “The Office” where Steve Carell was driving and actually drove to a cul-de-sac, and had nowhere to go. Now that’s real life!) But, more often than not, I see the driver of the car turn to the passenger either next to him or even the rear seat, and talk a blue streak. Now, those of us in the real world know that a driver would most likely either run his car off the road or crash into another car. (or at the very least run a red light or stop sign) Keep your eyes on the road, idiot! At least for the majority of the time. One of the worst offenders of this practice (and is actually the inspiration for this blog today) is one of our family’s favorite movies “School of Rock.” There is a scene where Jack Black is driving the van with all the kids in the back, and Led Zepplin is playing on the stereo. He turns around to the back of the van and sings along (in his Jack Black way) for quite awhile. It must be a mom thing, because no one else seems to freak out over those things, but in my mind I’m thinking, “They’re going to crash!” and then they don’t.  Hmmmmm.

I am not going to venture into the “leave the Midwest alone” subject. Everyone knows that the Midwest is hilarious. We all live on farms, have a hillbilly accent, and are dumber than a box of rocks.

Hey! Maybe that’s the answer! Maybe outside of the Midwest, people drive while looking backwards and shout out four-letter words like a bad rapper. Well, then, Hollywood…never mind.  I gotta go harvest the pumpkins and milk the cows.


Sweet Sixteen

I’m home from the crop weekend, and it was the best one yet!  My stomach hurts from laughing so hard, and I actually got quite a few pages completed!

A new annual tradition we have started is the Sweet Sixteen.  It is a complete rip-off of radio host Dave Glover’s weekly Sweet Sixteen.  Each week he chooses a topic, and he and his co-hosts complete a Sweet Sixteen-esque bracket to decide the “Best” whatever.  (Recent titles include Best Horror Movie, Best Female Body, Best Smell) 

Last year’s category was Best Romantic Movie.  We had some interesting entries, but when it came down to it, Sense and Sensibility was king.  This year it was Best TV Family.  Again, some interesting and surprising suggestions.  And, we were surprised how hard it was to come up with the names of the families.  Eight is Enough?  Seventh Heaven?  (Answers at the bottom of the post)  The winner of Best TV Family was…..

The Cunninghams!

(There were a couple of disgruntled voters.  The last match-up was Cosbys vs. Cunninghams.  It was a close one.  The Cosby voters are demanding a recount and hanging chad check.) 

BTW, Dave Glover’s Best TV Family?  The Munsters.  WHA?!   They didn’t even make our first list.

This was just one of the fun events we had this weekend.  And, also, one of the few that I am allowed to discuss!  😀

AnswersEight is Enough:  Bradfords  Seventh Heaven:  Camdens


General Hospital

Before I give you a run-down of my surgical experience, I thought you might like a little trivia test.  Can you name the shows that featured these hospitals?   Some may still be on the air.  And, I’ll admit I had to look up a couple.

  1. Seattle Grace
  2. County General
  3. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital
  4. St. Eligius
  5. Rampart General
  6. Sacred Heart

Answers at the bottom of the post.

Yep.  I made it out the other side, friends.  I’m home after my hysterectomy which was exactly one week ago.  Fifteen staples will be removed tomorrow, and I will be feeling a whole lot better.  I’m already feeling better than two weeks ago, so the recovery is looking very promising.

There were highlights and lowlights, as you would expect with most hospital stays.  The staff was very kind, and I would choose Mo Bap again any time.  Hopefully not too soon. 

I promise not to gross you out with any of the stories.  Which leaves me exactly one story to tell.

I was expected to walk the day after surgery, which was not a problem because I was on Percocet and still had morphine left in me, so I was not feeling much pain.  I was on the maternity floor, so Tom and I walked to the nursery.  There weren’t any babies in there.  Aww.  But, as we walked we saw several moms and dads wheeling their babies in the hallways.  I told Tom, “I’ll consider this a good walk if no one asks if I had a boy or a girl or how many centimeters I’m dilated.”  We were literally two doors away from making it back to my room, when a woman in a business suit came out of an office and said, “Good for you!”  Obviously she thought I was working through contractions.  DOH!  So close! 

I didn’t let it bother me too much.  Tom and I just went back into the room, closed the door, and scarfed down cookies from the cookie bouquet my friends sent me.

Once I got home, the kids were glad to be back home too, since they had spent the past few days at my parents’ house.  What they didn’t know was that they were going to spend two more nights there so that I could really get some rest.  This was a major disappointment and you would have thought we were sending them to Git-Mo.  I told them I was going to be a fun-sucker for awhile, and that I was sorry, but they were just going to have to deal with it.  With pouty faces, they left.

When they came back for good, they did their best not to just say “hi” and run out the door.  Which was fine with me, it was a nice day, and I wanted them to play with their friends.  But, before they went, I had something to show them.  I said, “Okay, kiddos, I want to show you what Mom went through and why you are going to have to cut me some slack.”  I lifted up my shirt and showed them my Frankenstein belly.  There were gasps.  There were grossed-out faces.  Faces were turning white.

I know Tom didn’t exactly agree with my showing them the incision and stitches, but as I explained to him later, they couldn’t see anything wrong with me, so it was hard for them to understand why I couldn’t get out of the chair without help or make them dinner.  Now they know.  They did a 180.  They are more than happy to help with anything.  Sometimes a little dose of reality is all you need.

And, now for your trivia answers:

  1. Seattle Grace – Grey’s Anatomy
  2. County General – ER
  3. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital – House (I had to look this one up to get the exact name.  I just remembered Princeton and Teaching Hospital.)
  4. St. Eligius – St. Elsewhere  (Remember how the hospital turned out to be a snow globe?  Wild.)
  5. Rampart General – Emergency!  (I can still hear Dixie:  “Rampart 451, go ahead.”  Or something like that.  Loved that show.)
  6. Sacred Heart – Scrubs (This one I didn’t know because I haven’t seen more than 2 episodes, but I figured there might be a Scrubs fan out there that would be upset if it wasn’t included)

What? TV Doesn’t Mirror the Real World?

After watching a recent episode of “The New Adventures of Old Christine,”  I saw a common TV irritation repeat itself. 

Whenever anyone picks up a purse or a messenger bag, it is SO obvious that there is nothing in it.  Unless, of course, a prop of some sort, like keys or Kleenex are required for the scene, and then it is obvious that there isn’t anything else in there, because the character always pulls it right out.

Now, let’s quickly discuss the TV world vs. the real world.  My purses never look as flat as the ones on television even when I put only the minimum daily requirements inside.  Putting one wallet in there would make it at least fill out a little.  And, when it comes the messenger bags, these guys pick them up, and sling them over their shoulder like they are filled with cotton balls! 

C’mon!  Would it be so hard to stuff the purses with paper?  You could recycle old scripts that way.  In fact, at least half of the time, the purses I buy have paper already stuffed inside them!  And, put a rock or two in those messenger bags, or learn how to “act” like they are heavier than tissue paper.

Don’t tell me Hollywood has lost touch with the outside world!

Best Dads

No, sorry, Folks, this is not going to be a gush-fest about my dad.  This is about dads we all know and love.  TV dads.

I used to be a TV addict.  In fact, before I was married, my outgoing message on my answering machine said, “Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now.  I’m either not at home, or watching one of my favorite TV shows.” 

My mom got me this great book TV Guide Book of Lists.  It is awesome!  Check it out, buy it, whatever, but read through it.  Lots of fun stuff.

One of the lists in the book was Best TV Dads.  Which got me to thinking.  Not which dad would you have liked to have had, but which dad would you want to marry?                                   

Here are  my top 5 and why:  (Remember, it’s the character, not the actor.  I would have an entirely different list for that.)  Oh, and I would step into their world, not the other way around.  Let’s see, though, their kids or mine?  I’m going with theirs.  Too complicated otherwise. 

  1. Ray Barone (After all, EVERYBODY loves Raymond!  Not so much the in-laws.  Maybe I should re-think that one.)
  2. Mike Brady (still affectionate, spent a lot of time at home, and actually shared parenting)
  3. Andy Taylor (Andy Griffith, you know.  Positive outlook, you could just tell he’d treat me well.)
  4. Cliff Huxtable (Doctor, but often home, loves his kids, and supports his wife in whatever she wants to do.)
  5. Rob Petrie (Just because he’s sweet and funny.  Oh, and his son hardly ever showed his face, so it would be a peaceful existence.

So, now, who would you choose as your spouse?  Men, feel free to choose your wife and her children.



    Help Yourself!

    Today was not the greatest of days.  A couple of posts ago, I mentioned that my stomach hurt, supposedly out of guilt.  (which has yet to be proven, but we’ll go with that for now.) 

    This morning, I thought I was going to jump out of my skin.  That is the best way I can describe it.  Anxious.  Teetering on the edge of a cliff feeling.  Then, my stomach just hurt.  Then, I worried about why I was hurting and then worrying about it.

    I kept trying to tell myself that I am not going to be “normal” anymore.  What used to be normal for me is no longer going to be.  And, what was normal then was no picnic for those around me, nor for myself, because I would always crash after a period of normalcy.  Mental illness stinks.  Calling it mental illness stinks too.

    So, I had to figure out what to do to make myself feel “better.”  My upper back has been hurting (there I go again, sounding like I’m 82), so I haven’t gotten much sleep.  (DING!  Trigger time!)  So, I popped a couple of ibuprofen and took a 30 minute nap.  Woke up and felt pretty good for about, oh, 3 minutes.

    Then, Bam!  Back to feeling cruddy.  So.  Now what, Michelle? 

    Can’t call your mom because she is going to go out to lunch with her friend.  And, two things would happen if you called:  1)  She would take time for you, and not be as ready as she’d like to be for her lunch and 2) She’d think about you while having lunch, therefore not enjoying herself.  Now, I know you are reading this, Mom, and believe me, I did this just as much for myself today.  How cruddy would I feel if I messed up your day?  Pretty cruddy.  Let’s look at Option #2.

    Option #2:  Call and talk to Dad.  Great listener, but this was going to call for more than just listening.  It would require my going over there.  And, the timing would definitely still interfere with Mom’s day, so she’d know about it, and (see option#1)  My dad rocks, and would quickly suggest we meet somewhere for breakfast/lunch.  Normally, that would be reason enough to call him.  Yum!  However, I have really been watching what I eat, and going out to eat didn’t sound good at all, and might have been counter-productive.

    Option #3:  Call Tom.  Tom had a big presentation today at work.  I really try not to call him anyway, because what can he do?  He’s half an hour away.  So, my calling him makes him feel helpless and causes him to not be able to concentrate on his job.  And, I don’t have to tell you all how important having a job is.  🙂

    Option #4:  (Yeah, I really did think of all these.  My mind tends to do this.)  Phone a friend.  No not Regis Philbin.  One of my many friends that has said, “Call me any time.”  Well, you all are so sweet, but there were reasons I didn’t call each of you.  Too numerous to mention, and possibly too personal.  Just know I thought of you.  😉

    So, I was out of options.  But, I persevered.  I decided to go to The Happiest Place on Earth.  I know.  You think that’s Disneyland.  Well, you are wrong.  It’s Wal-Mart.  Well, it was as close as I could get in under an hour to a pretty happy place.  Plus, I needed a few items.

    Well, you know how it is.  When you aren’t feeling well, things just don’t go right.  I couldn’t find my car keys.  I was sitting on them.  And, that was before I even left the house, obviously.

    I hit Wal-Mart, and stuck to my list, for the most part.  Just getting out did help a little.  And, I was proud of myself for not hitting the chocolate aisle, just ripping open a package, and sitting in the middle of the aisle looking like Augustus Gloop. 

    I then drove down to Lion’s Choice.  Ordered a sandwich, NO FRIES, and a diet Dr. Pepper.  Then I drove to/through Greensfelder Park and enjoyed the scenery and weather.

    But, what I did next was what made me turn the corner.  Get out your notebooks, kiddies.  On my .mp3 player, I watched an episode of “The New Adventures of Old Christine.”  And, laughed and laughed.  Right there in my minivan.  After it was over, I realized I felt much better. 

    Huh.  That “laughter is the best medicine” thing may have some merit after all.

    Who Knew about Hulu?

    As many of you know, I do not have cable.  It is probably a good thing because I would watch Law & Order all day.  I’m sure I could find it on some channel at any time of day.  I don’t watch much TV.  I watch The Bold and the Beautiful when I’m home at 12:30, but that’s about the extent of my devotion to that or any other show.  (Well, there is my addiction to Lost, but that is another blog altogether)

    I like sitcoms, but most are not appropriate for my family to watch, so I try to catch up online.  I can watch The Office, How I Met Your Mother, and several others whenever I’d like via their networks websites.

    But, I just finished watching The Partridge Family!  Yep.  It was as groovy as I’d remembered it.  There is a website out there called Hulu.  It has all sorts of clips and full-length episodes of new and old shows.  I got to see the Celebrity Jeopardy skits from Saturday Night Live from years ago.  I was able to find another skit that I had told the kids about that was actually clean enough for them to see.  This site is amazing! 

    You can watch everything from The A-Team to WKRP in Cincinnati!  With limited commercial interruptions, of course.  I just had to share this fantastic site with you.  Thanks to Debbie who shared it with me.

    Gotta go.  I’m getting ready to watch “a very special episode” of Blossom.  (Sadly, (or not), Blossom is not yet on the site.  But, I can watch Emergency! and a dose of Randolph Mantooth is good for the soul.)

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