bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Archive for October, 2010

No Such Thing

In my opinion, there is no such thing as “coincidences.” They are “God sightings.”

This was proven to me yesterday.

I’ve had a few crummy days. The bipolar has reared its ugly head. No idea what is bringing it on. Could be stress, but there’s really not that much.

I had my weekly Bible study yesterday. I wasn’t feeling very motivated. Really didn’t even want to get up off the couch. But, I knew that when I don’t feel like I have time for God, that’s when I need Him most. So, I picked my lazy butt off the couch, put on some makeup and took off. Driving there was a chore in itself, but i persevered.

I got to my small group classroom and was asked, “How are you doing?” and the tears started rolling. After another member of our group shared a story behind her prayer request, I decided to share that I have bipolar disorder. The tears came again. Everyone was so supportive. But, here’s the God sighting. One of the women in the group said, “Michelle, there is a bipolar support group here at this church that meets once a week. If you’d like I can introduce you to John who runs it.” What are the odds that this woman was in my group? And this week, no less. She was gone last week and will be gone next week!

Another group member came up to me and said, “You’ll really like John.”

After the Bible study was over the member took me to meet John, and it was amazing. Their Bipolar support group meets once a week, and that created such a light in the tunnel for me. I know my parents and husband want to help. I know my psychiatrist and therapist want to help. But, none of them have actually been where I am. It’s so hard to explain what I’m feeling; what I’m going through. Now, I’ll get to talk to people that do. People that know what it’s like to want to get even just a part-time job, but know that we can’t be relied on to actually show up every time. People that have people to support them, but feeling badly that you are “playing the bipolar card again.” People that know what it’s like to keep trying new medications, but are worried about the effects they will have on you. That it could actually get worse, because it has in the past.

I know I’m very fortunate to not have this disorder to the extent that others do. I’m rarely in the “why me” mode. Honestly, I just don’t have the energy to feel that way.

So, next Tuesday night is the next meeting…I think I can…I think I can…

Post Its October 19




Okay, that was supposed to be the sound of helicopter rotors.  Did anyone think that?  Oh, well. Titles are tough. Moving on…

I am having trouble deciding how to balance between being a mom who lets her kids learn responsibility on their own and being a helicopter parent.

My son is a Freshman. I asked one of my son’s teachers if hounding him to do an ongoing project was “helicoptering.” She was very vague. So, in other words, not helpful. But, then again she’s probably half my age and doesn’t have kids. She said things like, “If he would work on his project for an hour a day instead of waiting until the last minute, that would be beneficial.” Well, duh. My question is, “Do I treat him like I did when he was in elementary school and tell him, ‘You can’t be with your friends until you complete an hour on this project?'” Does that teach him independence?

My daughter is different. She’s doing very well in school. In most classes. One class she is bombing. I don’t know how to help her. We study for the test (it’s math, by the way), and she gets it. She takes the test and BOOM! Bad news. I asked her how her homework grade can be 100%, then get so many wrong on the test. Apparently, the homework is just an “effort” grade. If you do the homework, you get 100%, regardless of how well you do on it. Well, that explains why the homework doesn’t figure into the final grade, but it’s a little misleading.

But, she’s in 7th grade. I don’t have as much of an issue with making her sit down and work on the math with me each day. She’s still learning “the ropes.” But, am I doing the Freshman any good by “mothering” him? In just 3 1/2 years, he’ll be in college. On his own. Certainly as far as studying goes.  His grades are good. No complaints. Do I just let it go?

When I was in MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers), someone said, “When your kids get older, it doesn’t get easier. It just gets different.”  Amen, sister!

Post-It Note Tuesday Oct 12

Post It Note Tuesday AGAIN!

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