bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

Archive for the ‘life’ Category

‘Tis the Season

Yes, it’s time for New Year’s Resolutions. Probably the most blogged about event each year, is my guess.  Somehow if we put them out there for all to see, then we are held more accountable. So, yeah, I’m going to do the same thing.

A couple of years ago, I made the resolution to not get involved in any political discussions/posts on Facebook. I kept that resolution and continued it last year. Keeping it again. Just makes for a happier me.

The first resolution I thought of was to stop rolling my eyes. I think I’ve already broken that one.

Resolution #2 – stop asking Tom, “What are you thinking?” He thinks it is a loaded question, and I’ll admit that it used to be. He was supposed to be thinking about an argument we just had. He was supposed to be thinking about how much he loves me. Now, honestly, I’ve been using it as a springboard to start a conversation.  What I didn’t realize was that sometimes he’s not thinking about anything! I’m not sure how that is possible, because my mind runs a mile a minute. I’ve always got a song in my head (Right now, it’s Adele’s Someone Like You, in case you were wondering, and I know you were) or thinking about what I have left to do today. It’s always something. But the question bugs Tom, so I think I can give that up. I’m telling you and I told him, so let’s see if I can work on that one.

Resolution #3 – The three E’s: Exercise more often (like more than once a month), Eat better/less (got to quit eating cookies for breakfast), and entertain more (makes me keep the house clean). Yeah, this jumbo resolution is kind of a good ol’ standby, but I’m not holding my breath. I did do an exercise routine this morning that just about killed me. It was quick and I found it on Pinterest, but it involved jumping jacks, and my body was all, “What the heck are you trying to pull? I’m not used to being tossed around like this!” But, the important thing is I tried something.

Resolution #4 – blog more often. I guess. Now that I use Facebook, I don’t seem to have as much to write about. I’m not sure why that is, really. It’s not like I usually blog about what I am doing (or not doing) each day. But, sometimes my thoughts can be summed up in a sentence or two, and then I don’t feel like writing a whole blog.

Hmmm, that’s what I’m thinking about…and, yes, Adele is still singing in my brain.

Behave Yourself!

What’s on today’s list, Michelle? Well, I’m glad you asked! I’m going to add a few more than usual. Otherwise, we’ll be reading about manners through Christmas!

  • Let others know you care
  • Don’t point your finger at people
  • Keep your hands to yourself
  • Be friendly
  • Obey your parents or guardians
  • Greet people politely
  • Be kind to all creatures
  • Put trash in a bin
  • Offer your seat

That last one is a lost art as well, isn’t it? Before I offer my seat to an elderly person or a mom with little kids, I am always surprised that I am the first one to do it. On occasion, someone will beat me to it, but usually I am the first. I don’t mind. It really is just good manners.

I like today’s entries because you can tell they are meant for kids. I mean, do you know many adults that don’t keep their hands to themselves? (Other than those of you that go on dates, and then maybe you are looking for someone that doesn’t follow that rule!) There are touchy-feely people, and I guess it would be rude to just run up to a stranger and hug them. I know when women are pregnant, so many people want to touch their bellies. That bugged me. I let them though. Most people at least asked.

Don’t point your finger at people. “When you point at someone, you have 3 fingers pointing back at you!” Oooooo. That’s why I always point and say, “She is gorgeous!”  🙂

Check This out, Miss Manners!

We continue our series of posts on GOOD MANNERS today with these gems:

  • Smile
  • Knock before entering
  • Don’t lose your temper
  • Respect others’ feelings
  • Be patient
  • Say “Excuse me”
  • Speak quietly

I like these a lot! In fact, I can’t choose just one to write about. So, as a bonus for you, I’m going to touch on each one.

  • Smile – To me, this is a no brainer. I smile all the time. Even when I am feeling down. (at least in public) I was having a rough day yesterday, but when I went to the store, I used all the energy I had to smile at everyone that works there. When they asked, “How are you?” I didn’t say, “Crummy” or “You have no idea.” I, of course, said, “Good, and how are you?” I’ve never thought of smiling as a good manner, but I’m glad it’s on the list.
  • Knock before entering – This to me is just common sense. If you don’t knock before you enter, you may get a BIG SURPRISE!  YIKES! I realize that this is aimed towards children, though. And, in my opinion, this is one that you teach by example. Sure, we started telling our kids, “You have to knock!” early on, but we also knocked on their doors early on to show them how important it is.
  • Don’t lose your temper – Okay, I’m working on this one too. Just like being on time, I’m getting better at it. No one wants to be around someone who loses their temper. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, “is it worth all this?” Most of the time, it’s not.
  • Respect others’ feelings – and I’m going to add “point of view.” Note: it does not say agree. Respect is another thing entirely. I think another way of saying this is “Think before you speak.”  Many times, if we had just waited a few seconds before we made a big deal out of something, we would have handled it differently. I know people (and I’m sure you do too) that seem to be “without a filter” as I like to call it. They just say whatever comes to mind without thinking about how that will affect the other people in the conversation. I have a good friend who has been known to say, “You didn’t mean for that to come out that way, did you?” I love that as a response to those “no filter” people.
  • Be patient – Yeah. Hurry up and wait. That guy in line behind you who is sighing big sighs and making comments about the wait time really needs to get a grip and shut up. Be patient, Bucko.
  • Say “Excuse me” – This is one I feel like it is dying out, and I’m sad about that. Maybe I say it too often. We tell our kids when they are little, “Say ‘excuse me.’” But do we say it often enough? When you walk in front of someone in the grocery aisle, say “excuse me.” When you burp, for cryin’ out loud, say “excuse me.” And, no, I don’t care how often you burp. Say it every time.
  • Speak quietly – WHAT!?!? (Obviously this isn’t my strong suit.) There are times when I am out that I know to keep my voice down, though. And, there times when I’m just too loud. Okay, I need to work on this one too. BUT SO DO A LOT OF YOU!

Oops. Excuse me. That was a little rude.

More Good Manners

Yes, kids, it’s time for MORE GOOD MANNERS!

  • Wipe your feet
  • Help with chores
  • Be on time
  • Hold the door for others
  • Lend a helping hand
  • Never make fun of others
  • Let others know you care

More great ways to show good manners, don’t you think?

 

Since I already touched on “holding the door for others” in my last post, my topic of discussion is “Be on Time.” I have to admit that this is one I am continuing to work on. I never thought of it as a good manner until a friend of mine mentioned that she always tries to be on time, otherwise it is rude to the other person. It’s as if you think your time is more valuable than theirs. I had never thought of it like that. I was always just trying to squeak in one more thing to do before I met them. No more.

 

Tom is the one in our family who is all about being on time.  “If you are early, you are on time. If you show up on time, you are late.” Ugh. It’s very hard to live up to that. For one thing, I’m a very bad judge of how long it is going to take to get somewhere. I have learned to round up on places that I know how long it takes. It takes us twenty minutes to get to church, I leave thirty minutes beforehand.

 

I’ve gotten better, but I still have a long way to go.

 

Luck Was A Lady Tonight

I’m floating on air! I was just cast in the musical Guys and Dolls!

By the way, I stole my blog title from a friend on Facebook. He’s quite clever.

I have no idea what the show is really about, nor have I heard any of the songs. (Other than Luck Be a Lady to Night, and even with that one, I only know that line. ha)

This is going to be great, I just know it. It’s a small role, so I won’t have to be at all the rehearsals, which won’t means I won’t be away from the family too often. Yet, I still get to be in another show, and that always puts me in a good mood. The bipolar monster doesn’t seem to rear its ugly head when I’m doing shows.

Tom was thrilled for me. As usual, he’s the one who “made” me audition. I prayed about going before I even mentioned it to him. When I did, his face lit up and he said, “Of course you are going to audition!” I still had reservations, but he talked me into it. Granted, it didn’t take much of a push, but he genuinely encourages me to do these shows.

So, yeah. I’m really excited. Rehearsals start in two weeks and the show runs November 3-6. Perfect timing. I’ll be done in time for Thanksgiving and Christmas!  Woo hoo!

 

 

 

The Good Ol’ Days

Looking for something to blog about, I searched the web for blog prompts. Some were just boring, others were bizarre. (Describe your first experience in a cemetery.  Really? Actually, I enjoy visiting cemeteries, but that’s just a freak part of me, not blog-worthy.) Then I ran across one that asked, “What’s your favorite historical era? Who would you want to meet? Blah blah blah.” Which got me to thinking, “If I could live in another decade, when would that be?”

I’ve always thought “my time” would have been the 50s. Love the fashion, music, and the general “good feel” of the decade. I’m not just gathering this info from Happy Days,  my parents grew up during that era as well. So, how different would my life be, anyway?

In my younger years, I would have ROCKED a poodle skirt. I think it would have looked a lot better than those monogrammed sweaters that were popular when I was in high school. Sock hops looked like fun, but I didn’t attend a dance in high school, so I’m going with the idea that that probably wouldn’t have changed, even in the 50s.

No tv. Hmmm. I could live with that, I think. If we had one, we wouldn’t have a lot of choices, but that would be fine. We don’t even have cable or dish now.

Of course, I wouldn’t have a computer or Facebook (gasp!!!). I could live without that as well.

The one thing I would the have the hardest time with would be dealing with my bipolar disorder.  Manic-depression was not diagnosed until 1958. Would I have been diagnosed with depression? Or would I just have been told that I had “nerves”? Would I have been given lithium?  Or would I have self-medicated with alcohol? Unfortunately, I think the latter is more likely. Which, in turn, would not have helped the depression at all. Ugh. Certainly, no one was up front about their mental illness.

So, maybe the 50s wouldn’t have been so great after all.

I think I’ll stick to now, thank you.

Just Where Have You Been, Young Lady?

I know. I know. I just realized that January was the last time I posted on my blog. Every time I thought, “I haven’t written on my blog,” I honestly didn’t have anything to share. Things have been going fairly well, so thank God for that.

I really don’t have anything to share tonight either, but I wanted you all to know I’m okay. I have up and down days just like every other person in the world. I can certainly live with that!

Oh, yeah! I got a job! I work for my friend who is a lawyer for bankruptcies and credit disputes. It’s pretty much just the two of us, and I do general office stuff, like filing, opening and closing cases, etc. I work very part-time, which is perfect for me. I worked quite a few hours per week over the summer, and now that school has started, I’m going to have to scale back. For my sake, mentally. I have to accept that I just can’t do it all. But I really, really enjoy my job and working with my friend.

I was also in another play (musical) this summer. Karen and I did The Wizard of Oz together! I was Aunt Em, among other roles, and Karen was an Ozian and a Jitterbug. We had a lot of fun together, and I think we’ll do it again next summer. I realized I’m at my happiest when I’m doing a show, but I also realized that I can’t do as many as I’d like. It really takes it out of me. Tom is so supportive and wants me to do more shows, but I have to listen to my body, and it’s saying, “Take it easy, Liza Minelli.” Maybe I’ll do one this winter…

So, yeah. That’s what I’ve been up to. I promise I’ll try to write more often.

Tough Times

My favorite time of year is over.  Bummer. The time between Christmas and New Year’s is my smiling time. There is always something to look forward to.

It starts out on Christmas Eve. Dinner with the folks, then off to church, then back home to open presents. This year we didn’t go to church because of the snow. We stayed home and had our own service. Each person chose a Christmas song, and Tom read the Christmas story from the Bible. It was pretty neat, actually.

Then CHRISTMAS DAY! This is my favorite part of my favorite part of the season. We drove down to Marshfield, MO (which we have done as long as I can remember. Unless someone was sick) to be with my extended family on my mom’s side. We always have a great time. Lots of laughing, lots to eat, and lots of love.

The day after Christmas means lunch with several kinds of soup at my aunt’s house. Then we are off to visit Tom’s side of the family. His brother lives in Springfield, so we stopped there first and visited with them and met baby Charlie! After that, we headed to Tom’s mom’s in Joplin. As always, she fixed a delicious meal. No one makes mashed potatoes as good as she does.

The next day we head home for some rest and relaxation, since Tom almost always takes the rest of the days off until the new year.

New Year’s Eve means a wonderful party that our family is invited to hosted by our friends at church. We have a great time playing games, and of course, eating. Now that our kids are old enough, they play games with us, or go off and play other games on their own. This year the “new game” was Just Dance 2. Hilarious, and fun. Yes, of course, I played. Those young whippersnappers nearly wore me out. I may have to get that game just to get some exercise. It’s not as complicated as DDR.

New Year’s Day is a day to relax and enjoy the last day off. (At least most years. This year we got another day, but you know what I mean.) Some people make resolutions. I just start trying to do something better. I cleaned up 1/4 of the basement. That’s saying a lot. Seriously. No, really.

Now, that is all over. (sigh) Wow. I really did just sigh. The kids have the day off tomorrow, Tom is back to work, and the usual routine will start soon enough. We’ll get back to our hurried schedules, which we do because we choose to. But, for one short period of time, we got a break from that. A time where we didn’t have to keep looking at our watches (except for that New Year’s Eve countdown, of course), but just enjoyed being together.

Note to Hollywood

It is been said recently (and often) that politicians are out of touch with the common man. I believe that is true of Hollywood as well.

For example, I know very few people that drop “f-bombs” as often as they use the word “the.” But, watch a few rated R movies, and I begin to think I am living in a fantasy world of candy canes and lollipops. I’m not naive. I know that people use “those words” daily. Just not the majority.

Then there are the driving scenes.  Some scenes are filmed with the actors actually driving a real car and the camera is right there with them. (I saw an outtake of an episode of “The Office” where Steve Carell was driving and actually drove to a cul-de-sac, and had nowhere to go. Now that’s real life!) But, more often than not, I see the driver of the car turn to the passenger either next to him or even the rear seat, and talk a blue streak. Now, those of us in the real world know that a driver would most likely either run his car off the road or crash into another car. (or at the very least run a red light or stop sign) Keep your eyes on the road, idiot! At least for the majority of the time. One of the worst offenders of this practice (and is actually the inspiration for this blog today) is one of our family’s favorite movies “School of Rock.” There is a scene where Jack Black is driving the van with all the kids in the back, and Led Zepplin is playing on the stereo. He turns around to the back of the van and sings along (in his Jack Black way) for quite awhile. It must be a mom thing, because no one else seems to freak out over those things, but in my mind I’m thinking, “They’re going to crash!” and then they don’t.  Hmmmmm.

I am not going to venture into the “leave the Midwest alone” subject. Everyone knows that the Midwest is hilarious. We all live on farms, have a hillbilly accent, and are dumber than a box of rocks.

Hey! Maybe that’s the answer! Maybe outside of the Midwest, people drive while looking backwards and shout out four-letter words like a bad rapper. Well, then, Hollywood…never mind.  I gotta go harvest the pumpkins and milk the cows.

 

The Ol’ Wells Place

I was cleaning up my desk today, and found a black and white picture of my dad sitting in his recliner in the house I grew up in. I have no idea when the picture was taken, but I do know that there was no tv in the corner, so it had to be in the late 60’s.

The picture brought back so many memories. The peg and plank floor in the family room where I used to stand up playing cards between the boards. I think I did that for hours. In my mind, the Queen of Hearts was of course The Queen, but her love was the Jack of Clubs. The King of Spades was the bad guy.  And 7 always loved 6, but 8 was jealous.  Yep. All that with a hardwood floor and a deck of cards. We didn’t have a Wii or computers. Heck, our tv was black and white and rolled across the floor on a metal cart.  AND you had to GET UP to change the channels, kids!

Wow, I got off track there. I played on the floor a lot in family room of that house. I liked being around my parents and my brother. We didn’t have to be doing stuff together, just being in the same room worked for me.

The rug in the picture also brings back memories. I think everyone had one of those rugs in their houses. It was oval, and it was braided and had different colored ovals. This made for a great race track for my Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars. Yes, I played with cars. And cards. And, don’t worry, Barbies too. (I didn’t play much with dolls. I had a lot of stuffed animals that took up my time. I didn’t have time to take care of babies too.)

I also can see the french doors that led out to our patio. Everyone else had a sliding glass door. We had french doors. I always wanted a sliding glass door. Do I have one in my house now? No. What does Karen wish we had? Sliding glass doors. Tree, meet your apple.

All those memories from a 3×3 black and white photo.