bipolar mom shares her insights on everyday life

And Now the Waiting Begins

I’ve had great days! Yea!

I met with Kent, and he said that he didn’t see a “down side” to my substitute teaching. Yea!!¬†

Now I have to wait at least a month before Human Resources even starts to look at substitutes. Plus, 65% of their current subs are elementary. Boo.

Oh well, I’ve done what I can, the rest is in God’s hands. Yea!

Day 3!!!!!!!!

Go figure! Day 3 of good mood swings! I see Kent in two days (Friday). Maybe he can shed some light on this roller coaster I’ve been on.

Thanks again for your prayers!

Too Soon?

Great day #2 got me thinking about throwing my hat into the ring to substitute for our local school district. How’s that for coming out of the gate running? I have to go get my teaching certificate out of our safety deposit box, so I can’t complete the application process. Otherwise, I think I’d be trying to finish it tonight! (A little mania showing here???) I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I don’t know who I’d get letters of references from. I’ve been out of teaching since Mark was born. That’s 17 years, people! But, I just know it would be good for me and I would like it! It’s perfect for a bipolar person like myself, because I can pick and choose what days I work. Karen is almost excited as I am! She thinks it would be just great. Why? Because then she can snack while I’m gone. I love that my kids tell me the truth. ha

Oh, yeah, and the first day of school was today, and I have two in high school now. Like that’s a big deal. ūüôā

What’s up? Me!!!!!!!!!

Got up this morning feeling amazing! I went over to my folks’ and shared the good news with them. They could hardly believe it. Was this the same girl who was over there just yesterday with tears in her eyes? Yes, indeed!!!

No change in lifestyle or medication, so I really don’t know what to attribute it to, but I’m not going to question it, just ride this roller coaster that is now on the upswing.

Thank you for the prayers. They are working!

I don’t know why I looked on here, but today I did. So, it looks like I haven’t blogged since January. Wow. There goes¬†that resolution. I’m in a down-slump right now. The family is at church, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go. Too much work to be “on.” And, about the third “How are you?” I would have been fighting back tears.¬†

A couple of weeks ago, the doctor upped my Abilify to boost me out of my depression. It was a really bad one. I felt like I was headed for the hospital for sure, but the Abilify helped. For the most part. I’m still struggling with some down times.¬†

The family went on a vacation to Gatlinburg, TN for a family reunion and we all had a good time. Yep. Even I did. I didn’t nap excessively. In fact, there were two days I didn’t nap at all! Sleep is still proving to be an issue. A red flag as it were. I’m working on it, though. Trying to limit the time.

I realize this post is all jumpy and doesn’t flow, but I figure, why not just type it up anyway? I hope you, my readers, will say a little prayer for me. Your prayers have worked in the past and I have confidence they will again.

My family absolutely loved going to Papi’s in Wildwood and was very sad when it went out of business. The owner assured people that the new restaurant coming in was a friend of his, and we should try it out. After what seemed like a decade later, the new place, Chimi’s, has finally opened.

My first thought as I walked in was, “Aw. It reminds me of Papi’s.” Then, I realized I needed to get over that. Papi was not coming back. The decor actually reminded me a lot of El Maguey’s.

Tom and I got there a little before 6:00, and we got the last table. It was all the way in the back, by the bathroom, and, honestly…dark. If Tom and I were on a date, I might have found it romantic. But, since we are an old married couple, and I need new reading glasses, it was just annoying. There was a light directly over our table, but it had been dimmed for “mood lighting,” I guess. The place filled up pretty quickly after¬†that.

Let’s get down¬†to the food, shall we? I mean, that’s what restaurant reviews are about, right? So, first off, Tom ordered a medium margarita that was very large, and rated it as “a good margarita.” (Which for those of you that don’t know Tom, is his way of saying, “WOW! This is a great margarita!”)

Salsa and chips were nothing to write home about, so I won’t. Not bad, just not remarkable.

But, then, my friends, the chimichangas arrived. Oh. My. Gosh. I haven’t had something this tasty in a looooooong time. I chose the shredded beef chimi, and I don’t think I’ll ever order anything else. It was that good. The beef had been marinated and was so juicy and tender! I actually said, “Mmmmmmm…” when I took my first bite. And then said it again during the second bite. The beans and rice were good as well. The beans were firm, not mushy. The rice had some corn in it. (I don’t care much for corn, but this was a good addition, in my opinion. Gave it a fresher taste.)

All in all, I would recommend this place to anyone who likes Mexican food. I’m sure their other food is good too, but I’ll never know because I’m only going to order the shredded beef chimi every time I go.

Address:17209 New College Ave., Wildwood, MO

Phone: 636-273-4333Image

I Hab a Code in By Dose

Yes, I do. I have a cold. This one has made it’s rounds through our house, and I am the last to get it. No, I didn’t get the flu shot.

Actually, this cold isn’t the worst one I’ve had (oh, dear, I may have just jinxed myself), but it’s no picnic. As usual, I have stuff to do, and don’t really have time for this cold, so I am politely asking it to go away.

     Dear Cold,

          I hope you have enjoyed your brief stay in my head. I ask that you take all of your belongings with you as you leave. As to your question of vacancies in my lungs or chest, I am afraid I will not be able to accommodate you at this time.

                                                                      Sincerely,

                                                                       Michelle

She’s Baaaack!

When I heard the news, I thought of you, my readers. ¬†The neighbor that called me “Nancy” is back! After 3 1/2 years, she returns! ¬†Not next door to me, but a couple of houses away. What are the odds? She’s divorced the guy she married and moved back into the neighborhood.

I’m sure it’s because of the warm fuzzies all her neighbors gave her. ¬†She wasn’t a bad neighbor (I’m assuring my friend who is now her next door neighbor), she’s just very self-centered. And, we used to worry that she would just drop her kids off at our house while she went shopping or something. (Yes, that really did happen to my other neighbor) But, now that her kids are older, I’m sure she’ll just leave them at home. Oh, wait. I forgot. She had another kid with her now ex-husband. Well, I’m sure she won’t drop off the wee one at our houses. (Especially if I don’t answer the door!)

I wonder if I should bake some cookies and sign them, “From, Nancy.” Nah, I think I’ll let that sleeping dog lie. She’s got herself a new Nancy now!

‘Tis the Season

Yes, it’s time for New Year’s Resolutions. Probably the most blogged about event each year, is my guess. ¬†Somehow if we put them out there for all to see, then we are held more accountable. So, yeah, I’m going to do the same thing.

A couple of years ago, I made the resolution to not get involved in any political discussions/posts on Facebook. I kept that resolution and continued it last year. Keeping it again. Just makes for a happier me.

The first resolution I thought of was to stop rolling my eyes. I think I’ve already broken that one.

Resolution #2 – stop asking Tom, “What are you thinking?” He thinks it is a loaded question, and I’ll admit that it used to be. He was supposed¬†to be thinking about an argument we just had. He was supposed¬†to be thinking about how much he loves me. Now, honestly, I’ve been using it as a springboard to start a conversation. ¬†What I didn’t realize was that sometimes he’s not thinking about anything! I’m not sure how that is possible, because my mind runs a mile a minute. I’ve always got a song in my head (Right now, it’s Adele’s Someone Like You, in case you were wondering, and I know you were) or thinking about what I have left to do today. It’s always something. But the question bugs Tom, so I think I can give that up. I’m telling you and I told him, so let’s see if I can work on that one.

Resolution #3 – The three E’s: Exercise more often (like more than once a month), Eat better/less (got to quit eating cookies for breakfast), and entertain more (makes me keep the house clean). Yeah, this jumbo resolution is kind of a good ol’ standby, but I’m not holding my breath. I did do an exercise routine this morning that just about killed me. It was quick and I found it on Pinterest, but it involved jumping jacks, and my body was all, “What the heck are you trying to pull? I’m not used to being tossed around like this!” But, the important thing is I tried something.

Resolution #4 – blog more often. I guess. Now that I use Facebook, I don’t seem to have as much to write about. I’m not sure why that is, really. It’s not like I usually blog about what I am doing (or not doing) each day. But, sometimes my thoughts can be summed up in a sentence or two, and then I don’t feel like writing a whole blog.

Hmmm, that’s what I’m thinking about…and, yes, Adele is still singing in my brain.

I’ve had a rough week.

After a busy and tiring weekend, this week went downhill. On Monday, I slept most of the day. Which didn’t really surprise me after the weekend I had. But then on Tuesday I had a mindset of hating almost everything. I hated my house, I hated our yard, I hated just about everything that was usually fine and dandy. Very much the opposite of the way I usually feel. I’m usually a Pollyanna. Look her up if you don’t know who she is.

Wednesday was meh. I decided to bake since that is something I enjoy and hoped it would get me out of my “funk.” Well, the pie that I made for Sunday’s church picnic (and took 3rd place, thank you very much) didn’t turn out nearly as well on Wednesday. It was undercooked. I mean soupy. I was near tears. My folks came over to taste this great pie, and it turned out like…well, you know. We talked about my mood in general lately. As we have learned over the years, my parents (particularly my mom) will notice a change in my mood before I do. Apparently, several weeks ago, she mentioned to my dad that she thought I was headed for a down-turn. I promised to re-evaluate the situation in a week and go see the doctor if I hadn’t bounced back.

Thursday came crashing down. When I got up and went to work, I was doing pretty well. Then I screwed things up at work and what should have taken me 30 minutes or so, took an hour and 30 minutes. I was so bummed. I get paid by the hour, but I felt like I shouldn’t have charged my boss for that extra hour, since my screwing it up was the reason it took so long. So, I came home from lunch, and really started to crash. Not in a sleepy way, but in a mental way. I made a pizza and sat down to watch Modern Family which is one of my favorite shows. I didn’t laugh once. Now I knew something was wrong. I picked up the phone and called the doctor’s office. His receptionist got me an appointment for the very next morning. (today) I called my boss and said I just couldn’t make it in that afternoon. (Bonus points for the job I have. Bonus points go to my boss as well)

I called my mom and went over to my folks’ house and spent the rest of the afternoon over there. My mood picked up quite a bit. I didn’t take my daily nap because, honestly, I was worried I wouldn’t want to get out of bed. Ever.

I went to Guys and Dolls rehearsal because it was devoted entirely to choreography for one of the few songs I’m in. Choreography is not my strong suit, so I knew I couldn’t miss it. I did fine. I was exhausted and went to bed as soon as I got home.

Now, I’ve brought you up to speed to today. (About time, huh?)

After explaining all this to the psychiatrist (including the daily naps), here is what was decided. Take Lamictal at night since that could make me sleepy. Increase the Prozac and the Abilify to battle the depression that I obviously was battling. (When he heard me say that I was hating myself on Wednesday, he said, “That’s¬†depression.) So, in a few days, I expect to see a change in my mood and my sleep habits.

Here’s hoping…(prayers would be nice too, if you don’t mind.)

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