Kent the Great Spouts More Wisdom

I went into Kent’s office yesterday a complete mess.  All he had to do was ask, “So, what’s up?” and I was in tears.  The first words he could understand were “I’m trying to please everybody,” and then more sobbing.

He talked to me for a long time and I explained that I had be anxious all week.  Not agitated, but anxious.  I didn’t want my son to go to Boy Scout camp.  I didn’t want my husband to join him later in the week, I didn’t want to drive my friends down to Family Night at Scout camp.  I didn’t want my daughter to have a sleepover that night.  And by “didn’t want to” I meant I was freaking out about all those things.  Working myself up.  Even though I could tell myself there was no logical reason for doing so.

I told Kent that I think one of the problems is that even though I’m technically getting at least 8 hours of sleep each night, that I think my CPAP machine needed to have the pressure increased because I was always really drowsy in the afternoons.  I mean, dropping off to sleep while on the computer without realizing it, drowsy.  And, since sleep is my trigger, I was not able to fight things off like I usually do.

Kent was quick to tell me how far I had come.  He said, “In the past, you would have done anything to avoid doing those things that made you anxious.  But this time you pushed yourself and did them anyway.  That’s a big step.  You recognized that your fears were not really justified, so you tried to not listen to those voices telling you “You shouldn’t do that.”  “Yes, you should”  “No, you shouldn’t.”  Let me be quick to point out that I didn’t REALLY hear voices this time.  It is more like the cartoon with the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other.

I had also said I thought I might be doing too much, and that other people might tell me so.  And, since I’m trying to please people, I didn’t know what to say to make everyone happy.  He gave this great piece of advice.  This is the nugget of information that I want you all to think about when you are trying to decide whether or not to take something on.

SWOT

Strengths

Weaknesses

Opportunity

Threat

This is to help you with decisions about desires you may have.  For example, the driving the friends down to Family Night could be broken down like this:

Strengths - I like the women I am driving, I have a van and no one else had a car available, I usually don’t mind driving.  I wanted to go see Mark.

Weaknesses - I don’t like to drive at night.  I didn’t know where I was going, really. 

Opportunity  - This is a one-time deal.  I can’t go another evening.  This was it.

Threat - I could get in a car accident.

So, after considering all those factors, it made sense to go ahead and go. 

Here’s another example.  I desire to play major league baseball (hypothetically, of course!).

Strengths - I like to play baseball.  I have a good arm.

Weaknesses - I cannot throw a 90 mile an hour fastball.  I’m a woman.

Opportunity - Virtually none.

Threat - None, really.

After review my SWOT, this would not be a good desire to pursue.  It would be better to go play catch with my son in the backyard.

I left Kent’s office feeling better than I had all week.  I had told him that I didn’t want to back out on the sleepover for my daughter.  I didn’t want her to always think of her mom trying to sleep off the “bad moods” or moping around.  Or drugged up.  I mentioned that I had thought about inviting a friend over to scrapbook while the girls were here.  He thought that was a great idea.  He also mentioned having the girls go swimming to release that energy early in the night so they would more likely go to sleep quickly.

Last night worked out just great.  My neighbor across the street came over and she is SO low-maintance, that we just talked (and talked, and talked) and scrapbooked until the girls went to bed.  It was perfect, really.  Of course, I SWOTed the idea before inviting her.  It was obvious that I really should give it a go, and it worked out perfectly.

We are headed to Dallas next week, and I’m not anxious about that one iota.  Kent said that was because in my mind I knew that it was ABSOLUTELY the right thing to do.  Amen to that! 

It’s weird to me how quickly he can calm me down and help me analyze what is going on and why.  And, how to deal with it.

So, tune in for our next VISIT WITH KENT the second week of August!  Same Bat Time.  Same Bat Channel.

Oscar the Grouch Welcome Here!

Oh my gosh.  I just spent an hour in the basement cleaning up my daughter’s side.  It was supposed to be a classroom for her to pretend to be a teacher.  But, trust me, this property would be condemned, if it were. 

I lugged out: 2 trash bags of trash, 1 bag of stuff for charity, and a large box of recycling items. 

The problem is…you can hardly tell I did anything!

Now, if I had asked her to do it, it would have been a disaster because she would have cleaned about 15 minutes and then start playing, thinking it was done.  Plus, she would have saved a lot that I threw away.  Papers, awards, papers, notebooks, papers, glue sticks, and more paper.  Geez!  I thought I had a paper problem!

My son’s side of the basement is entirely Legos.  He and his friend build towns and then shoot movies with the them.  Pretty cool.  But, he doesn’t want to put them in boxes or sort them or anything like that.  He just spreads them out on the floor so that he can see what he has.  I’m fine with that.  If I asked him to clean it up, he could just scoop up all the Legos and put them in bins until the next time he wanted to use them.

Of course, my husband’s section of the basement is very tidy.  Well, for a workshop, anyway.  He’s got stuff where he wants it.  And, can probably find it when needed.

My section is somewhat organized.  Right after my stay in the loony bin I got a bee in my bonnet (what’s that phrase about?) to start cleaning stuff up and out.  So I had these shelves that we just jam-packed with stuff and I had no idea where to find anything other than Christmas stuff.  That holiday has it’s own shelf.  Now, that is all pretty organized.  I have had some stuff spill out of there into the adjoining section that is considered “common ground” and I really should get around to picking through it or finda place for it all.  But, until then, I’m good with it.

So, now I’m sitting here, taking a break, in front of the box fan, just waiting to cool off enough to take a shower.

But, let this serve as a warning.  If ANYONE reading this blog buys my daughter any more “School Stuff,” prepare for the Wrath of ZUZU!!!!  Unless, of course, it is an industrial strength vacuum cleaner.

Isn’t it Ironic???

Is it just me or is it ironic that I couldn’t do a crossword in an AARP magazine without my reading glasses?  Shouldn’t those of all things be in LARGE PRINT?  C’MON!!

I’d give it an A-

Everyone in my family has at one time decided to rate certain things. Back when my husband was big on eating fajitas, he would rate each restaurant’s version, since he ordered them almost everywhere he went.

My son has rated bathrooms for quite awhile. His are very detailed. An example is when we went to the Circle of Concern in Valley Park. He came out and said, “I give it an A-.” (He has done this so long, he doesn’t even have to tell us what he is talking about. We just know.) Then, he explains why it deserves that grade. “It was obviously freshly painted. Very clean. The only thing wrong was they had paper towels and toilet paper stacked in the corner. Otherwise, it would have been an “A”.”

My daughter has now taken to rating grilled cheese sandwiches at restaurants. Her very favorite is Sonic. That one always gets and “A” and lots of “mmmms” while she is eating it.

I, however, don’t rate anything and feel a little left out. There are few things I am passionate about. I don’t always have to go to the bathroom every time we go somewhere. (My son does, however, and it is not about rating the bathrooms. He’s got some Pavlov’s dog-thing going on that when he enters a restaurant, especially, he has to go to the bathroom within the first 15 minutes we are there.) I keep trying to come up with something to rate. Something that means something to me and that I do often enough to justify rating it.

Any suggestions? I give this blog an A-. It was not my best blog, but that’s okay. I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

Mother/Daughter Relationships

Other than my husband, my mom is my best friend.  I can tell her just about anything and she is always there for me.  As you can tell from this post.  (Okay, if this link thing doesn’t work, but you can go over to the right-hand side of the page here and click on “March 2008″ and find “Happy Birthday, Mom!” if you want to.)

My wish is to become that to my daughter.  And, today, I got a chance to see the girl she still is and the woman she is to be.

She and I went to the mall to buy some Crocs.  I offered to buy knock-offs, but she wanted the real ones, so she was going to pay the difference.  Even though I don’t like shopping, I enjoy doing things like this with her.  After she picked out the ones she wanted and paid for them, she realized she had enough money for Dippin’ Dots.  When I said that was fine with me, we walked to the other end of the mall.  She reached over and grabbed my hand. I felt like I was filled with sunshine!  My ten-year-old still wants to hold my hand.  I think of her as a kid, a teen-to-be, a pain in the rear, and many other things, but this moment was really special for me. 

She and I also talked about the future:  what kind of dog she would like to have and why, her favorite names, etc.  We watched the people pass by as she was eating her dots.  She commented on the relationships that we saw, especially kids and their parents.  As we left, she held the door open for a man a little older than me, but younger than her grandfather.  He thanked her and she smiled and said, “You’re welcome!”  Last night at band practice, she went with me and since there were only two singers there, she asked if she could sing too.  I asked the others and, of course, they said, “Sure!”  She was as happy as a clam.  (But, really, are clams all that happy?  Sorry.  That was an ADD Moment.)  She seemed so grown-up, and I’m sure she felt that way.

She has such a positive outlook on life; she takes it all in.  I hope she continues to feel that way throughout her life.  It will serve her well.

I realized how much she loves and enjoys being with me.  Next week she and I are going to have most of the week to ourselves since Mark is going to Boy Scout camp and Tom will be joining him later in the week.  We already have some things planned, but I will make sure that I cherish many of the moments that we will have together.  Until, of course, she tells me that she is bored.  Then, I’m done with her.

You Can’t Hide Your Tired Eyes…

Let me start by saying I hate being tired.  I know there are worse things out there.  I know that I bring it on myself.  A lot.  And, maybe hate is too strong a word.  How about:  I really don’t care for being tired.  I don’t care for not being able to do what a “normal” person can do in a day.

Let’s backtrack a bit.  

Over the July 4th weekend, our family went camping and floating with my in-laws.  I know.  You say the word “inlaws” and groans and sympathic looks abound.  But, despite the fact that there were 14 kids under the age of 14 there at any one time, it was a very pleasant weekend.  We had the privilege of going to Pogueland which consists of 40 acres in a beautiful part of Missouri, near Emminence.  (My brother-in-law’s last name is Pogue, hence the name.)   However beautiful the scenery, however terrific the company was, the fact remains that I slept on an air mattress for three nights.  The first night was a little chilly, the second and third nights were not.  Even my 10-yr-old daughter said, “I can’t wait to get into a REAL bed!”  And that was on the second night.  :( 

As I’ve mentioned before, sleep is my bipolar trigger.  And, I did get a decent amount of sleep despite the circumstances.  My CPAP machine worked great.  The air mattress stayed inflated the entire trip.  But, it wasn’t a real bed, in real air conditioning, etc.

So, I’m not surprised that yesterday, I was more than a little edgy.  Today I’m just tired. 

But, this morning, I hardly did anything.  I jumped out of bed between 6 and 7 because I was going to have breakfast with a very close friend that I haven’t seen all summer.  During school we would see each other about once every two weeks.  If we could last that long.  And, as my mom always says, “When you have lunch with her, it’s always good for you.”  I agree wholeheartedly.  Bless her heart, I think I talked almost the whole time.  But, I do remember her getting in a few words.  Like, “I’ll have the pancakes”  and “No, I don’t need any more coffee.”  So, she wasn’t completely silent.  ha

After breakfast, I ran to Shoe Carnival to exchange a pair of shoes and pick up some “crocs” for my niece’s birthday.  In that same strip mall is a Party America, so I stepped in there to get a paper pirate hat for Sunday School.   On my way home, I popped into Schnuck’s for lettuce, grapes, carrots, and mayo.

Then I went home.

That was it.  I am beat.  I did make BLTs for lunch.  I felt I owed the family that much.  (Plus, my hubby grew the tomato himself, so we have anticipated eating it as soon as it was picked a couple of days ago.)

So, is that so much that I should be wiped out?  Yes, for me, I guess it is.  I still need to learn what is too much.  And, as I ran into Party America and Schnuck’s I knew I was pushing it.  But, I also knew that I wasn’t going to go to the party store before Sunday on a quick trip, what with the gas prices and the fact that it was in the same strip mall as the shoe store.  And, stopping by Schnuck’s was kind of important, since I had already told my husband that we’d have BLTs, and we didn’t have any lettuce.  And, who wants a BT?  That’s a completely different sandwich!

So, what should I have skipped?  What would I have done differently?  These are answers to questions that Only the Shadow Knows….

A Lesson in Expenditures

Today my son is hosting a Wii party.  This consists of having a few friends over to play multiplayer Wii games.

Before this get-together was allowed, I had him write down what he was planning, what he expected of me, and when he anticipated this would occur.

He did a great job.  We sat down and talked about the number of people.  He and his best friend are co-hosting this party and had decided on inviting 3 more people.  They even had a list of who would be their first choices.

Then we negotiated on the length of the party.  Holy cow, that kid thought they could spend the whole day here.  Did he forget his mom is bipolar and could snap at any minute?  No, not really, but his time was unrealistic, even to the mentally stable.  ;)  So, we negotiated down to 4 hours.  (Which, honestly, I thought was WAY more than was needed, but since it’s a once-a-summer deal, I agreed to it.)

Then came my terms.  He must leave the family room and kitchen exactly as they looked when the party began.  He quickly agreed.  I said, “And no blaming someone else for a mess or spill.  That is still your responsibility to clean up.”  “No problem,” he said.

After we agreed on the terms we both signed and dated the contract.

A couple of days later, I told him that I would give him $10 to buy the snacks he wanted.  So, this morning, (the day of the party), we headed off to the grocery store.  It was very interesting to see what he purchased.  His best friend had requested Tostitos with Lime and root beer.  Vess root beer was 99 cents, but Mug root beer was $1.49.  He decided that the Mug might taste better.  Then he picked up a 2-liter of Coke.  When he got to the chips, it was not such an easy decision.  He noticed that the Tostitos his friend wanted were not on sale, and he couldn’t find a price.  I told him to go ask a cashier to tell him what it was.  He came back with a price of $3.49 or something like that.  He was surprised it was so expensive.  Then, he chose his favorite snack, Munchies.  He said he had a quarter left, so he was good.

When we went to check out, we went to the self-scan (always our first choice.  I guess I get to fulfill my dream of wanting to be a cashier at a grocery store.).  He scanned the Tostitos.  Then, he scanned his Munchies.  They were $4.49.  I pointed this out to him.  He looked confused.  I knew what had happened.  He had seen a sign that said they were on sale, but he had picked up the wrong size.  So, I sent him back to decide what he wanted to do.  He stood in the aisle for quite awhile before I went to help him.  Just as I got there, he realized what had happened.  He stood with the much smaller bag in his hand and decided to not get them.  (Now he knows why I rarely buy them.  They are expensive and he eats them like there is no tomorrow.)  I pointed out that there were chips for $2.  He seemed excited about that and then chose Cheetos Puffs.  I then said, “You know you could get another bottle of soda.  You have enough money left.”  He was thrilled and came back with Dr. Pepper.

I was very pleased with how this all went down.  Sometimes kids need to know how much things cost and why we don’t buy stuff just because we like it.  He did a great job of getting a variety of snacks, and we’ll see how much is left after all is said and done.

Right now, I am hearing lots of kabooms and excited yelling.  (No inside voices here.)  I have no idea what they are playing, but I’m going with Mario Kart.  So, if the sound of this party is too loud for you, regardless of where you live I’m sure you’ll hear it, just know that you can remove your earplugs at 5:00.

Smile and Say Ahhhh!

Trip #2 to the dentist today.  I wasn’t nervous or anxious at all.  Until I couldn’t find my mp3 player.  Panic-stricken, I announced to the family that I couldn’t find it.  Everyone scrambled to look for it, and suggest places to look.  Well, everyone except my daughter.  She was too busy watching “Camp Rock” online.  God bless my husband.  He found it on the dining room table.  Whew!

When I went in, the hygienist was so super sweet, as usual.  I showed her that I was ready with my mp3 player and she laughed and said, “I brought mine just in case your forgot yours.”  Now how sweet was that?  Very little “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee” tools were used.  Just a lot of scraping.  (After 10+ years, I would expect that)

Once she was finished, I kept running my tongue along my teeth.  What a great feeling that was!  I put off eating lunch as long as I could so I could keep that feeling.

I’m going back in January and I am actually looking forward to it.  I know it will be a much better experience then, especially since this one wasn’t so bad!

I know that I read somewhere that dentists have the highest rate of suicide in all professions.  I think that is sad.  So be sure and thank your dentist next time, or at least smile at him.  Unless you are numb.  Then, just give him a thumbs up.  Your smiling would just be weird with that trickle of drool coming out of your mouth that you can’t even feel.

A Pregnant Bridesmaid on a Sled

• I just watched “27 Dresses” this week.  I was surprised at how much I really liked it.  I do have one complaint though.  While watching the extras (one of my very favorite parts waiting to rent.  Especially the outtakes, of which there were none in this movie), the other actors kept talking about what a comedic actress Malin Akerman (the sister) was.  Really?  I must have missed it.  I didn’t think her part was humorous at all!  In fact, I hated her through the whole movie!  Even though we were supposed to like her at the end.  I will say she was a good enough actress to make me hate her, but comedy?  No.

If you haven’t seen the movie, skip to the next paragraph.  Okay, you’ve been warned.  I don’t think I could have forgiven that (*&%^ sister for cutting up my mother’s wedding dress as quickly as Jane did.  I thought about that for days!  I have a very good friend whose grandmother made a Christening gown for the family and used lace from my friend’s mother’s wedding dress.  Immediately I thought of “27 Dresses”  and it had been a week since I’d seen it!  That part really got to me.

• Another movie I just saw was “Citizen Kane.”  I mean, seriously, you have to watch what is considered the greatest movie of all time, right?  Well, I slept through it after the first 20 minutes or so the first time Tom and I sat down to watch it.  Then, we tried it again, and I have to admit, it was really pretty good.  Especially considering when it was made.  So, if you plan to watch it, be prepared to think “Wha?” during the first 20 minutes or so while some announcer keeps shouting, “GEORGE FOSTER KANE…”
• I saved the best movie that I recently rented for last.  “Juno.”  Wow.  A most excellent movie.  I am usually leary of independent movies, but I wanted to watch this one for some reason.  (And, now that I think about it, more often than not, enjoy those independent films.  “Little Miss Sunshine,” anyone?)  The acting was superb, in my opinion, and would not be classified as a “chick flick.”   The few minutes that Raine Wilson appears are fabulous!  I consider this to be a “must see”!

I realize that these are old movies that most people have already seen, heard about, or bypassed on their own.  I am not a movie critic.  (Although I think I could do a better job than some.  My equation is this: They hate it=I will love it.  They love it=I’ll think about it.)

We have certainly rented more movies than this, but I haven’t watched many of our Netflix movies.  Once in awhile I’ll pick one that I want to see, but Tom really is the one who takes advantage of the whole thing.  He watches it them the day they arrive in the mail.   I just need my sleep too much.  This bipolar thing is kind of getting in the way of my lifestyle!  Right now, “The DaVinci Code” is waiting for me to watch sometime during the day.  Do you know how long that sucker is?  When will I find time for that?  I’d rather blog.

Richie, Potsie, and Me

My family went to the drive-in on Friday night.  We had never been to one in Missouri before.  When we lived in New York for 4 months, we went to one twice.  The kids were only 1 and 3, so they really didn’t remember it.

Before I tell you about Friday night, I have to tell you about Wednesday night.  We tried to go to the drive-in on Wednesday night, but once we got down there, we drove by a gas station and saw police cars and police tape all around this pickup truck, the pumps and the entrance to the convenience store.  Definitely something was afoot.  But, we drove into the drive-in and NO ONE was there.  Then a woman who apparently owned the place told us that they were not going to be able to show the movies that night.  Our faces fell.  She said, “Yeah, the authorities recommended that we shut down.  There is a manhunt going on tonight.  A guy stole a car and then ran across our field here and they are looking for him.  The police think it is too dangerous for everyone to just sit in their cars here tonight.”  (Uh, Yeah!)  When she saw our faces, though, she asked if we had driven far.  When Tom told her St. Louis, she went inside the concession building and brought us out a card that got us in for free the next time we came.

So, we returned Friday night.  We drove almost an hour down to Cadet, MO to the Starlight Drive-In.  The movies that were showing were “Get Smart” and “Speed Racer” so we were all equally excited.  We settled in with our popcorn, soda, and licorice from home and got ready to watch the movie.

Then the complaints began.  “I can’t see.”  “Yeah, me either.”  “The rearview mirror is in the way.”  Finally Tom and I said that we would sit in the back of the van and the kids could sit up front.  In all honesty, once we got back there, we wanted to say, “We can’t see!  The rearview mirror is in the way!”  But, we slumped down as low as we could, put our heads together, and watched the first movie.  We did tell the kids they couldn’t move their arms or heads because if they did, we wouldn’t be able to see!

So, instead of having to call the chiropractor the next morning, Tom came up with the brilliant idea of turning the van around, swapping the seats, turning it into something only an engineer could think of.  It worked out much better.  The rain started coming down, but the rear hatch protected us.

We had a really good time.  Get Smart was excellent and very funny.  Speed Racer was, uh, hard to follow and a blur of activity.  But it was still worth hanging around for.

We got home at 2am and the kids both said they had a great time.

I was thrilled because it was my idea and it actually worked out. 

Tickets: $20 

Gas: $25

Funnel Cakes and Pretzel: $9

Drive-in Memories:  Priceless